Living Through It, Leading From It: The Courage to Lead from the Hard Places

In this episode, I get to speaks with Jessica, a life and career development coach, about her journey through grief, self-discovery, and leadership. Jessica shares her experiences of losing her mother to cancer at 11 years old and how it shaped her into the empathetic leader she is today. We talk about the importance of self-awareness, the impact of saboteurs on personal growth, and the lessons learned from life's challenges. Jessica emphasizes the power of choice in how we show up in the world and encourages us all to embrace their hidden chapters as a source of strength.

Jessica's Key takeaways: 

• Grief can shape us in profound ways.
• Self-awareness is key to personal growth.
• Our hardest chapters can lead to empathy and leadership.
• We all have inner saboteurs that can hinder our progress.
• It's important to embrace our hidden stories.
• Choosing how to show up is a powerful decision.
• Connection and vulnerability are essential in leadership.
• Helping others can be a path to healing ourselves.

Chapters
00:00  Introduction to Hidden Chapters
04:09  Self-Awareness and Personal Growth
07:03. Childhood Influences and Early Struggles
13:05. Navigating Loss and Self-Sabotage
19:01. Lessons Learned and Personal Choices
21:58. Career Journey and Coaching Philosophy
29:07  Confronting Inner Criticism
31:56. Navigating Self-Sabotage
32:24 Identifying Saboteurs
35:40  Overcoming Avoidance
38:34  The Power of Communication
41:44 Embracing Conflict for Growth
43:11. Transforming Jealousy into Motivation
50:05 Empowering Others Through Vulnerability
55:07 The Power of Personal Growth Through Adversity
57:05 Understanding and Overcoming Saboteurs

Contact Jessica:
📧 One on One Leadership Coaching: https://www.jessicawright.online/

🔗LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/wrightlife?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=

Take your saboteur assessment: https://lnkd.in/g-WMmF2q

Transcript

Speaker 00: 0:00

There are stories we carry that don't always get told. Today's guest, Jessica, lost her mother at just 11 years old to cancer. And that early grief shaped her in ways she didn't fully understand until years later. Her journey took her through binge eating, depression, and self-harm. But it also led to healing, growth, and transformation. She shared something with me called the saboteur assessment. that honestly helped me understand myself better too. It's the kind of tool that reveals how we get in our own way. And for Jessica, it was a big part of learning to lead differently. In this episode, she opens about how her hardest chapters helped her become the kind of empathetic leader she always needed. And now, the kind she teaches others to be in her own business. So hi, Jessica. I wanted to thank you first for coming on for this conversation. So before we dive into your hidden chapters, do you mind starting with telling a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you do today, and what you're passionate about in this season of your life right now?

Speaker 01: 1:10

Yeah. Hi, Genevieve and listeners. I am so excited to be here with you as you get started with hidden chapters. This is such a cool idea. I am a life and career development coach for new and emerging leaders who want to build their confidence and intentionally build their legacy, but also not lose their personal life in the meantime because they're thinking about work every waking hour. And the place I always start with folks is self-awareness, understanding who you are, why you are the way you are. Because I think that when we are able to do that for ourselves, we can also support the people who work with us to do that. And we can create safe places where everyone is operating at their highest level. And we can get a lot of really good work done. And The world right now needs a lot of good stuff to happen.

Speaker 00: 2:12

Yes, they do.

Speaker 01: 2:13

Yeah. Yes, they do.

Speaker 00: 2:16

So you're a busy lady at the moment, building your business.

Speaker 01: 2:19

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 00: 2:20

So as I was prepping for our conversation, I finally took the saboteur assessment that you shared with me. And it hit hard. It uncovered patterns of behavior that have shaped how I've lived my life. And so it was interesting. My high-ranked saboteurs were pleaser and high achiever. And honestly, it made a lot of sense. The pleaser in me defining my worth by how much I do for others and gain acceptance through helping others, always showing up, never asking for much in return, but secretly hoping for it back, led to feelings of resentment, which actually were very true. And then the hyperachiever, dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and validation, told me my worth was tied to performance and productivity, that I'm only as good as my latest success. So what I didn't realize was how much I was actually losing myself in this process. And it was that pressure to keep doing, performing, achieving, because stopping might mean losing my worth in other people's eyes. So somewhere along the way, I started to wonder if I stopped performing, who am I even really? So I'm in a transition phase of my life right now where my roles and responsibilities are shifting. My daughters are becoming more independent and I'm no longer living in that military lifestyle. So I'm questioning who I am outside of these roles. And so it made me think, as one of my friends recently mentioned to me, that you're building what you need. So I started thinking today, especially after I took that, is maybe the creation of my podcast, Hidden Chapters, is a way for me to rediscover myself and create space for other people to share their own untold stories. And it's a really great invitation for myself and my audience to stop performing for validation and instead embrace the parts of ourselves we've hidden away. So I'm finding a new way to show up with depth and with healing. And all of us sharing these parts of ourselves that we've tucked away are just as important as the ones that we lead with. And it's not just about achieving or pleasing. It's about truly connecting to who we are beneath all the layers. So Jessica, I think that's exciting. Why I've had you come on the show is I know you've shared your voice in many podcasts, but What you've shared with me, it's clear you've done some deep work around the parts of your own story that usually aren't seen. So I'd love to start there and then just ask you, there were some powerful early chapters that shaped who you are today. So can you take us back to your childhood for a bit and what did life look like for you in those early years?

Speaker 01: 4:59

Well, I don't think I can even go there before I say how beautiful what you just shared is. And thank you for sharing that. I'm just so impressed that you even took the assessment and got that done before we met today. It was eye-opening. And yeah, I'm glad. I also know it's hard to read some of that sometimes because then it's like, well, there it is. Now I've got to do something with it. Yeah. And so I just want to like thank you and also honor kind of this ripping open that we do when we commit ourself to personal growth and development. Like it's hard work. And so, yeah, before I can go into my story, just I just want to like take a moment for how beautiful you just said is.

Speaker 00: 5:49

Thank you.

Speaker 01: 5:50

Yeah. And kind of going back. I think when we first met, I shared with you that while there are some sad parts to my story, I know that I wouldn't be who I am today without that. And so, yeah, my mom got sick with cancer when I was very young, around five or six, and died when I was 11. And she was sick that whole time, that whole five or six years. And a lot of things happened for me during those formative years. I really started a tendency towards self-harm, even at the age of five, through a few different methods. One of those methods was binge eating, which even now I think about little five-year-old Jessica binge eating, stealing food. And I just like, oh man, I just want to hug her and let her know that it's going to be okay. She's going to figure it out eventually. It's going to take a while, but she'll figure it out. But yeah, just, and I was an only child and seeing my parents go through that and my mom go through that really shaped how I tend to show up in the world. I also come from the Midwest, a fairly religious family. And while I no longer live in the Midwest or follow some of those traditions, I am bent towards the idea that you show up and you help people as much as you can, as often as you can. And so no surprise, one of my top saboteurs is also the pleaser. And I'm an Enneagram too, if any listeners follow the Enneagram. But yeah, the process of my mom going through several surgeries, treatments, diagnoses, meant that I just felt I had this pressure on me all the time to be good and to not cause problems and to help as much as I could. And while none of those things are terrible, for a five or six year old to really think about that all the time is not healthy. You know, you're so young. Yeah. Yeah. I was so young. I was pretty alone. I was around a lot of adults. And yeah, I also didn't feel like I fit in with kids at school or maybe a little more at church. But I just didn't fit in with a lot of kids. Like I knew these bad things were happening and that I life could change at any moment and that you can lose people. And that was really hard then to just like go to school and play and chill with my peers, you know. So I just went to school and tried to do the best I could, get the best grades I could so that my Parents wouldn't be mad at me and everyone would think I was smart and do the best I could. Like I wasn't very athletic, but I did participate in dance and I tried to be the best dancer I could. And then I was in music and I tried to be the best musician I could be just to not cause any issues. So that was a big part of that journey. opening journey. And then when my mom died, you know, it was just my dad and I. And he has his own struggles and emotional issues. And it was really hard for him to be at home and around me, which, you know, isn't okay. I also kind of understand the source. I think I understand the source anyways. He would never talk about it, you know, but yeah. And so then after my mom died, I really felt kind of abandoned by my dad, too. He would technically come home every night, but I didn't really see him very much. And I always knew where he was, but I had to, like... call my grandma to get in touch with him. This was before cell phones were a thing. And so, yeah, I felt pretty abandoned by him. And he and I have never really rebounded very well from that. And it's been well over 25 years now. So that is a big part of that opening story that kind of led me to wanting to figure out a career journey Yeah. Yeah. I also don't ask for it. So that's something I've really worked on in the last 10 years or so. But yeah, that's that's the opening childhood story and kind of leads into a lot of other things.

Speaker 00: 11:18

Yeah. So you really were raising yourself in those formative years, those teen years.

Speaker 01: 11:24

Yeah, it felt like that. I mean, I had a lot of, you know, people in our church and my dance teacher and grandparents who absolutely did their best and really stepped in a lot of times. But I was I was alone quite a bit and definitely felt felt that loneliness there. I can understand that. Yeah.

Speaker 00: 12:09

And so mentioning that you lost your mom at 11, almost 12, that was a lot of where the self-sabotaging voices and inner doubt came through. So now in your personal life and in your business, how have those inner doubts and sabotaging voices shown up for you?

Speaker 01: 12:27

Yeah, I think my mom was probably... just the best cheerleader that you could ever ask for yeah and so my voice is gonna get a little shaky here um when she passed away um I had a really hard time learning how to do that for myself yeah and um As a 12 year old who had been binge eating at this point for seven years and trying to harm themselves in other ways, I was also pretty socially awkward because, like I said before, like I was just very aware that bad things could happen. It just social experiences like. school and, you know, getting involved in extracurriculars just didn't, it didn't work for me. I just, I wasn't very good at connecting with people. And yet connection was what I wanted so much. And so I think that that self-sabotage or the sabotaging voices around my confidence and like, no one wants to be around you. You're too weird. You're too fat. You're too, you know, just like all those things have really been going off in my head for decades. And I found success in high school as a musician, as a dancer. Even though I was bigger, I was still great at dancing because I could do it. I could figure out how to do it perfectly. I could nail everything. I could learn everything really well. So perfectionism is also another thing for me. If I do it perfectly, then they won't make fun of me. That was kind of how that sabotage showed up for me. So yeah, it's definitely been an influence as I... Got an undergraduate degree in music education, decided I didn't want to teach and kind of started to wind through adult life, trying to find a way to be helpful and make money at the same time and also find a partner. And, you know, all of these things, it's been challenging at times for sure. Yeah. And yet at the same time, I know... that when people tell me that I'm such a warm person to be around and that I'm super empathetic and they can tell I'm listening or that they feel seen and heard by me, I know it all stems back to that because that's what I wanted.

Speaker 00: 15:35

Right. You're building what you wanted. Yep. Showing people what you wanted. I relate to that so much. Yeah. I appreciate you sharing that. So what are... some of the biggest takeaways, your biggest lessons that you've learned through all these turning points in your life that you hope others can take away with them today?

Speaker 01: 15:56

Yeah. I don't think anyone needs to have it all figured out right now. I think that there's a lot of beauty and growth in being able to understand how things are at the moment and also think about how you want to intentionally show up to any situation, whether that be a relationship, a work situation, a friendship, whatever. Yeah. I think understanding that you can make a choice And have something be different, have something be better is a really powerful understanding to have. And one that I wish and that's something that I wish I had realized a lot earlier. I used to I mentioned that victim saboteur. I used to think, well, bad things just happened to me like they have since I was young. So that's just how it's going to be. And, you know, I'll figure it out. But yeah. I'm not surprised. And certainly, I believe that there are a lot of us who have more privilege than others. And a lot of us maybe have the opportunity to have more and better choices. But I do fundamentally believe that every person always has a choice about how they're going to show up and what attitude they're going to have. So yeah, that's what I work on a lot with my leaders, especially during times like these where it's really hard to know during changing circumstances how their mission is going to change and evolve. hopefully evolve, definitely change. And that's what we go back to with mindset all of the time. You always have a choice about how you show up and how you make people feel. Or not even, maybe not how you make people feel because that's a little bit on them too, but the love, I guess, that you extend to them and the support that you extend to them. You always have a choice of what you can do in that situation. Yeah.

Speaker 00: 18:35

So you've worn a lot of hats that have led you to where you are now. You've done a lot of deep dive and shape the work you do now. So can you tell me a little bit about your business and how that kind of weaved into to what you're doing now?

Speaker 01: 18:51

Yeah, for sure. Like I said, I started out with a bachelor's in music education and I've never actually taught music aside from some private lessons. But I

Speaker 00: 19:00

think it's interesting. We all have a different we all start with a major, but that we never necessarily go back to it.

Speaker 01: 19:06

Also, like side campaign. Can we stop making 18 year olds pick a major? Yeah. Oh, gosh. If I could make anything happen. Well, maybe not anything, but that would be one of the top 10, I think. Yeah. Poor 18-year-old Jessica. She thought she wanted to be a band director and live in Ohio forever. And by 26, she was like, oh, gosh. Yeah. Yeah, that ain't it.

Speaker 00: 19:33

I thought I wanted to be a journalist back then. Just travel the world doing fluff news going. I'm in Belgium eating Belgian waffles. I had no plans of getting married. I had no plans of having kids. I just wanted to run away and travel.

Speaker 01: 19:45

I love that. I love that. I mean, maybe maybe retirement career for you there. Yeah. If we're honest, though, it's all about the waffles, though. It was about eating all the foods in all the places. I love that. Yeah. So after I finished with that degree, I worked in college admissions event planning for a few years. And then I... moved to Seattle and worked at a food bank for a couple of years. That's where I really got passionate about the idea of food justice and wanting to be a leader in that arena. So I went to Seattle University and got my master's degree in transformational leadership and then couldn't find a job. And a faith community that I was connected to and I really loved needed an interim pastor. And I did not want to be a pastor at all. But the skills they needed at that time were a lot about figuring out who they were and what they wanted. And that kind of work excites me a lot. So I entered that interim role and then ended up staying in the long-term role for six years. And as I was finishing, as I was getting the internal nudge that it was time for me to move on from that role, I started to do this exercise of what I would like to keep from all the jobs I've had and what I would like to let go from all the jobs that I've had. And as I made that list, I looked at the keep side and I was like, that's a coach. I had had the opportunity to have a coach when I was in my master's degree program. They made all of us have coaches. either a therapist, a coach, or a spiritual advisor. And I already had a therapist. So I added on the coach that they provided to us. Um, and she was amazing. Um, shout out to Mary. She's phenomenal. Um, and so I, yeah, I had had that experience and I looked at that list and I was like, oh my gosh, that's a coach. That's, I think that's what I want to be. That Everything that was in there was like relationship building and walking alongside people as they... go through difficult things or have to make decisions and working one on one with folks. And, you know, it was just all this stuff that was like, you know, the definition of a coach. So I started a 10 month coaching certification program called it was the transformational coaching program. I really love the word transformational, by the way. It's both in my master's degree and my coaching certification. I did that for 10 months. just an absolutely life-changing experience. And then I went out on my own. I left that pastor role and started my business. And I've jumped around a little bit in who specifically I help, which is funny because my degree and all of my interest is in good leadership. And Yet I felt too intimidated. I felt such imposter syndrome about coaching leaders. I was like, well, I haven't I haven't. been a leader in a corporate setting or I haven't done this or I haven't done that, you know, sabotaging voices. Oh, yeah, for sure. And so I started out as like general life coach and then I went to career coach and and finally I was like and I had started my podcast, Illustrating Leadership, where I invite people to share about the best example of leadership they've ever had. I did that before I called myself a leadership coach. And so I finally about a year ago was just like, Jess, why aren't you coaching leaders? This is so silly. Why are you not doing this? So I really did, I had to do some work around that with my own sabotaging voices and finally realized that Maybe where I saw the need and could shine the most was with these new and emerging leaders, because we have a decent amount of support for the folks who are already at the top or even mid-level leaders. I see a lot of support for them, which is great. Like we all need support along our journey. Like I'm not saying there shouldn't be support for them, but I didn't see a lot of people saying, hey, new person or person that maybe isn't even a leader yet, but really aspires to be. Let me walk alongside you. Let me be your co-leader, your confidant, your cheerleader. And let's get you doing all the good in the world that you want to do. Man, once I had that, like, very clear vision, everything inside of me was just like, yes, let's go. Not only can you do this, but this is so needed. And, you know, after this last November, I was like... What the world needs now. Cue the song. We need love and we also need good leaders. Right. And I coach leaders. So gosh darn it. That is what I'm going to do. And so, yeah, I've just been like really loving this shift for me. And yeah. Learning about the PQ work, which is what the saboteur assessment stems from, has been such a great tool for these leaders and really anyone who we all have those sabotaging voices like we all have this judgmental presence. in our head that just whenever and I think it presents differently for different people in different ways but it's always there sometimes we're more judging of others sometimes we're more judging of ourselves sometimes we're more judgmental of the of the circumstances but we all have this these inner voices that tell us we can't for some reason or we shouldn't or it's going to be too hard or whatever and Learning how to intercept that voice before it hijacks you and turn it into something that's more helpful and can actually help you be more innovative and creative and kinder, both to yourself and others. Why not do that? Like, that's such a powerful thing. And so I love that you started out this podcast with just from taking the assessment. Yeah. what that triggered for you, because you're going to have that in your mind now. The next time you're editing a podcast and, you know, you're going nuts over the crackle of the voices or in between or whatever it is, you're going to be like, OK, high achiever. Right. Thank you for, you know, helping me put out a good podcast. However, we're going to go a different way here. You know, we're going to try something else. So now you have the language for starting to intercept that voice before it hijacks you. And no one hears the podcast episode that is, you know, going to be life changing for someone.

Speaker 00: 27:23

Well, I found it really interesting. Like you said, we all deal with it in different ways. So before even really learning all this stuff, there was moments where I was deep. in two weeks of just self-sabotage in my head. How do I get those out of my head? How do I stop beating myself up verbally with all these things? Because that's where I was at a couple of weeks ago, really just talking down on myself that I couldn't do this or whatever the doubt. So I'm just interested because you are so passionate about helping these emerging leaders. How do you get through and how have you been able to pick yourself up And knowing what you know, how are you able to talk yourself through there to keep yourself out of those deep holes that we all can get into?

Speaker 01: 28:07

Yeah. Well, I'll share a couple of my top saboteurs right now because they can change. Right. Life changes. Circumstances change.

Unknown: 28:17

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 28:18

Right now some of my top saboteurs are the hypervigilant which is the one who thinks about everything bad that could ever happen and makes a plan for it and goes wild just like yeah yeah and I think like that you can probably see how that stems from my childhood like at any moment my mom could go to the hospital or have something else happen or you know how many times I woke up in the morning and my grandma and grandpa were at the house staying with me because my dad was Yeah. And at the same time. I still have that presence of like anything bad could happen at any time. You know, it's just the reality of it. And so, yeah, well, hypervigilant is is rare in its ugly head quite a bit. And, you know, these saboteurs are really shadow sides of gifts. So you better believe I'm great. I'm your girl. If you need a plan made like. call me. I'm ready. I'm ready to go. So I'm really good at that. And that's not a bad skill to have. It's just when I let that take over every bit of my life and my business and I just keep planning and planning and planning and never do anything, that it's a problem. You know, at some point we got to get this stuff out into the world and help some people. That's the whole point. So another big one for me, I mentioned the pleaser already. So it's hard for me to put out something. And I also have the stickler the perfectionist. So it's hard for me to put out something that I think isn't good, but also might not make everyone happy. It was really hard for me to niche down. Part of the reason it was hard for me to niche down to coaching for leaders is because I really love just life coaching anyone. And I can do that, but that doesn't really connect with everyone. But the most recent time I went through this program, I actually chose to focus on my number four saboteur at the moment, which was the avoider, because I could really see. Yeah. And I could see how the avoider played with the top three. I could see how the avoider made the hypervigilant stronger, how it made the pleaser stronger, and how it made the stickler stronger. And I was like, I think we got to deal with this sneaky little number four guy because he's really egging the others on. And that was such a huge, huge realization for me. And one of the top... tips for someone who is an avoider like if you tend to procrastinate or if you avoid conflict all of these are yeah yeah hands raised all around if you tend to do that one of the tips is just commit to doing something for 30 seconds or 5 minutes Or just take the first step, like put that in your calendar. I'm going to write this email for one minute. And when that one minute is over, I can stop if I want to. It's OK. I will celebrate that I wrote it for one minute and I will move on with my life and I will not make myself feel bad for stopping after a minute because that's what's calendared in. However, if I keep going, which nine out of 10 times I do. Right. then we're good. It's just for the avoider, often it's just the starting, whether that's task related or even conflict related. I remember one time something that my husband did really bothered me. And this was like on a Friday. And I was distraught all weekend. And he kept asking me, is it something I did? What is going on? Like I was like visibly distraught. shaken. And it wasn't even that big of a deal, you guys, but

Speaker 00: 32:53

it's just, I was, I do it too. Right. And it's never just the one thing. It's always kind of everything else.

Speaker 01: 32:59

Unfortunately. I'm just having a moment. Okay. Um, but anyways, and there were a few times throughout the weekend where I would like be like, okay, this is how I want to start the conversation in my head. I'm like, this is how I want to start the conversation. This is what I need to address. I had all of it worked out, but I would open my mouth and And no words would come out. I've literally never been speechless except for this moment. I was breathing in. I was, you know, all my music skills pushing from my diaphragm like I was using it all and no words would come out of my mouth. And this happened like three or four times throughout the entire weekend. And finally, I had to write down on a piece of paper how I was going to start the conversation. I had to write Okay, I'm ready to talk about it. And I had it on that paper. And I knew if I could get that out, you know, he's really good at communication. So if I could just say, okay, I'm ready to talk about it, he would be pretty helpful in leading me through talking about it. Yeah. So I wrote that down. And finally, on Sunday afternoon, talk about ruining a whole weekend, Jessica. I got it out. I said, OK, I'm ready to talk about it. And then we dealt with it and it was fine. And yeah, I cried the whole time. But like that doesn't matter. I got it out. And he's really good at handling me when I'm crying. He can he can deal with that. Yeah. But yeah, I just like really needed that first step. And so with the avoider, figuring out the first step relationship wise or task wise is really helpful in overcoming some of those avoidant tendencies.

Speaker 00: 34:47

That is a real good advice. Because yeah, sometimes I'm so angry or sometimes I'm just in my feels. It's hard for me to articulate. So if I'm having those discussions with my own husband, with kids with friends I will most times tend to hold it in and I won't say anything but obviously I'm bothered but I just don't have a way to approach this that it's not going to be ending badly how am I going to say this that it's not going to be taken in the worst light

Speaker 01: 35:17

yeah and the assumption there is that it is going to end badly but like think of how many times in your life you've dealt with something with this person and And has it ever really gone badly? If it did go badly, why did it go badly? And, you know, with most of the people that I now have in sort of my inner circle of trust, if I'm willing to show up in an honest and caring way, and really do the work ahead of time to know what's going on for me and why that's going on for me and I can say that, those people have never let me down. They've never hurt me or put me off to the side because I needed to deal with something. Yeah. They never have. I'm not saying that's every person in the world because I certainly have people... Who I don't trust with those kinds of conversations. Right. But my husband, my closest friends and having that realization has also really helped me to be less avoidant of conflict. Like conflict can actually really help a relationship if done well. And I think I think that's the key part is starting with. All right. What's really going on here for me? What triggered this? Why? What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? And also, I think there's kind of a fourth step of, I don't know that I have the vocabulary right in this minute to express it perfectly, but it's sort of like asking the question, do I need to hang on to this feeling? Like when you list out all of the feelings you're feeling, there might be a couple in there that you're like, All right. I think I can let this one go. You know, it doesn't it doesn't invalidate it. It was real. It did its thing in the moment. That's OK. So, for example, sometimes with me and I experience this in the business world a lot as I'm growing. I will see another small business entrepreneur, et cetera, that I'm connected with who I love and want to see succeed, actually succeed. Yeah. In a way that I haven't yet. And I get jealous. Here's a hidden chapter for you, right? I don't really love admitting that, that I feel that way. I think we all have that. But I do sometimes. Yeah. And when that happens, it's like surrounded by all these other feelings of, again, so proud of them, so happy that they're doing well because I love them and or what they're doing. Usually both. And also just like there's so many other positive emotions. And I then look at that list of emotions I'm feeling and I'm like that jealousy one. All that is is saying like, I have a desire to be more. And you know what? I'm working on it. I'm going to get there and I'm working on it. And that one I think I can let go of for the moment. Okay, I felt it. It was almost good I felt it because sometimes it signals the things that are out of alignment for me and I can work on that and tweak that in my own way. Life or business plan. And now we can let it go. We can show up fully supported and happy for this other person. So, yeah, sometimes we just we feel things we can we can say, OK, I see you. Thanks for coming to the party. And you can go now.

Speaker 00: 39:13

I think that's really great, too, that you are able to do that because a lot of your experiences have made you a great leader. So now you leading others, you recognize a lot of those things and you can try to help them get through some of the things that you also struggle with. And I know we all struggle with that and especially new leaders because I'm doing it with new leading of a podcast. Right. So how do you feel sharing your story could really help others who may be going through something similar?

Speaker 01: 39:42

Yeah, I just I want the people who feel like they're too emotional or weird to. or have something about them that makes them feel like they're unfit to make this world a better place, to know that those are the things that actually make them very fit to make this world a better place. And when we get rid of or when we intercept those hijacking saboteurs, and make them work for us in a positive way, man, we could all be just unstoppable forces for good. And this could be really the moment for someone to step up and say, I'm gonna make a different choice. I've been feeling this way and doing this because of it, but I can make a different choice. And that just that's what gets me out of bed every day. Like that gives me so much hope in these times that feel kind of hopeless and like nothing will change, at least not for the better. For those folks out there who feel so overwhelmed by their situation or their past or their hidden chapters, it can be a little rough and rocky getting all of that stuff out into the open. I understand. I mean, I still cry when I talk about like some of my earlier chapters I did in this podcast and it's okay. Like it is all right. We can, we can make different choices and show up as leaders for positive change in this world. And I'm just, I'm really pumped to connect with people who are interested in putting in that work.

Speaker 00: 41:49

Yeah. Oh, that's great advice, Jessica. I love that. and always what I need to hear. I love that I'm interviewing everybody and they're all just giving me the best advice and it's what I need to hear as well. So

Speaker 01: 42:00

that's a really solid benefit of being a podcast host that I don't think you talk about enough. Like I know when I interview people too, I just leave feeling like, oh my gosh, we're going to be okay. It's going to be all right, folks.

Speaker 00: 42:14

I'll get off of every podcast interview and I will go rejoin with the family and they're all like, how'd it go? And I'm like, it was so wonderful. I don't have any words yet. I'm still trying to process and soak it all in. I was like, it's what I needed to hear too. Nice.

Speaker 01: 42:27

Love it. So

Speaker 00: 42:30

Jessica, thank you so much for being here and letting us in, not just into your work, but into your heart and your history. This was such a great conversation. Thank you.

Speaker 01: 42:40

Thank you so much for having me. It's really a privilege. And I will make sure to link everything in the show notes of where they can find you. Yeah, definitely. You can connect with me on LinkedIn, Jessica Wright. And you can also go to my website, JessicaWright.online. Those are the two best places to find me. to get connected with me. And you can find the saboteur assessment that Genevieve shared about a little bit. That's free. It only takes about five minutes and super easy to get started with that journey.

Speaker 00: 43:16

Yeah. And I was so excited about it. I actually shared it with Chris. I told you that. I shared it with Chris and I was like, hey, do this real quick. And he's like, how long is this? I said, it's like three minutes, I promise.

Speaker 01: 43:26

I made my husband do it too. He hates those kinds of things, but he took it and he was like, oh, this is actually really good. And it's just so nice to know what's going on in your partner's head. Like, isn't that what we all want? Yeah, figure them out.

Speaker 00: 43:43

Thank you so much for listening to Jessica's story today. One thing that really resonated with me, and I think will resonate with many of you, is how our hardest chapters can shape us into the leaders we are meant to be. What Jessica said really stuck with me. The thing that makes us feel unfit to make a difference, those are often the very things that make us fit to change the world. When we learn to intercept those saboteurs and use them in a positive way, we become an unstoppable force for good. If you're curious to explore your own saboteurs, I've included a link in the show notes to take the assessment for free. I truly believe it can help unlock your own path to show up authentically, lead with empathy and making a new choice. Thank you for spending time with me and for listening to today's story. One that reminds us we're not alone in our mess or healing or hidden chapters. If you haven't already, follow the show wherever you're listening so you never miss an episode. And if you enjoyed today's conversation, please leave a review. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend who might need to hear it. You can always reach out by email. I'd love to hear from you or connect through the links in the show notes. And you can connect with Jessica through the links in the show notes as well below the Saboteur link. If you've got a story of your own to share, my inbox is always open. Until the next chapter, keep listening for what connects us the most.