From Grief to Joy: Melissa's Story of Becoming the Light After Loss

In this heartfelt episode, Melissa shares the profound journey of losing her twin brother, Grant and the unexpected way his loss transformed her life. Grant was always the bubbly one, the encourager, the life of the party. Melissa dubbed herself the "mean one", always getting them in trouble. But when Grant passed, something shifted: his joy became her legacy.

Melissa opens up about their unbreakable twin bond, the devastation of sudden loss, and how she’s learned to live each day like it’s her last with joy, laughter, and an open heart to serve others.

Through grief, faith, and a deep desire to honor her brother, Melissa shows us how pain can shape us but it doesn’t have to define us. This isn’t just a story about grief. It’s a story about transformation, purpose, and what it means to carry the light of someone you love.

Takeaways from Melissa: 

• The bond between twins is unique, powerful, and never truly broken.
• Grief is a personal, messy, lifelong journey but it can also lead to growth.
• Faith can be a steady anchor when everything else feels lost.
• When we lose someone, we often become the thing they were for us.
• Helping others is not just kindness, it’s healing.
• Listening deeply is one of the greatest gifts we can give.
• Choosing joy doesn’t erase pain but they can coexist.
• Legacy isn’t about being remembered it’s about how we love while we’re here.
• Every story matters. Sharing it can help others feel seen, heard, and less alone.

Chapters

00:00 The Bond of Twins
13:32 Navigating Grief and Loss
22:30 Finding Strength in Faith
25:32 Navigating Grief and Loss
30:16 Transforming Pain into Purpose
34:47 The Shift in Perspective
39:17 The Power of Helping Others
43:29 Tapping into Inner Strength
48:01 Finding Happiness and Peace

Contact Melissa: 

📧 Email:  thicklinm@yahoo.com 

🔗 LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-thicklin-26858752?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=

Non profit organization:  It's a Military Life. 🇺🇸

https://www.linkedin.com/company/it-s-a-military-life/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Welcome to Hidden Chapters. I'm Genevieve. Before we get into Melissa's story, today's episode lands on July 4th, which was her twin brother Grant's favorite holiday. It feels like the perfect time to honor their incredible bond. So I first met Melissa when we were both volunteering with a wonderful nonprofit that supports military families called It's a Military Life. We connected through that shared mission of giving back. And even after we both stepped into full-time roles elsewhere, we kept in touch via LinkedIn. When I started my podcast, I was honored that Melissa was willing to share her story. I did not realize how much she had been carrying. Today, she's opening up about a deeply personal chapter, the loss of her twin brother and what it's been like to grieve someone who was truly a part of her. So let's begin right at the heart of their bond. So hi, Melissa. Hello, hello. I had not known in all this time that we were volunteering together that you had a twin. Yeah. I am interested to hear. So tell me about you two as kids. What were your personalities like?

SPEAKER_00: 1:19

Oh, my God. Believe it or not, he was the bubbly one. Yeah. And I was... The bad one.

SPEAKER_01: 1:26

I can consider you a little bubbly yourself,

SPEAKER_00: 1:28

though. He was the bubbly one. The bad one just kept us in trouble all the time. And I just refused to whatever we get whenever we got in trouble. And I was like, no, I'm not going down for this by myself. We going down together. I used to pull that trick. We came in the world together. We going down together. So he was like, why do you always do this? And I'm always in trouble with you. I was like, I just wanted to test that. I want to see how it works or something like that. And he was like, we always get disciplined because you're doing something else.

SPEAKER_01: 2:04

Melissa leading the charge, getting in trouble.

SPEAKER_00: 2:07

Yeah, you just be like, oh, that wasn't me. He was the one that just, I don't know, he just had that personality where people were drawn to him, that type of personality. I was the bad, I was the mean one, so to speak. I just watched people. I observed people. I didn't really smile too much, but he was that one that always was smiling. Everybody want to be around him or whatever. So I was like, I was jealous of that. It's

SPEAKER_01: 2:36

hard to believe because you're very bubbly too. So did you two have that unspoken connection that a lot of people talk about with twins? Did you have that

SPEAKER_00: 2:46

secret language? Yes, we had our own language when we was coming up when we was kids. The other sibling had no clue of what we were saying. I guess when I'm thinking back on it, it was like jibber jabber, but we understood each other. And we had that other connection where I can feel when something was wrong with him. He can feel when something was wrong with me. And the older we got, the more that actually grew. He had my labor pains. When he got drunk, I had his hangover. It just really had that. Different things grew as that connection grew as the older we got. So I was like, I can just tell when something's wrong because... If I'm at home sleeping, I wake up with a busting headache. I call people out like, hey, how was your weekend? Oh, it was great. I know. I know. I have this throbbing headache. Oh, I forgot. I forgot you get my headache. I say, that's why you do it, because you don't get sick. So he never was affected? It was just you? It was just me. He never got affected by it. It was always just me. And I was like, oh, my goodness. And he, when I had my first child, he had my labor pains. I didn't have them. He had them. That's so strange and interesting at the same time. He was like, oh, my, my mom, I was on my way to the emergency. He was like, oh, my back is killing me. And she was looking like, what you say? He was like, my back is, oh, why am I stuttering? She was like, all right, what do you feel? I said, I feel fine. He was like, so you got her labor pains.

UNKNOWN: 4:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 4:29

And he was like, but the more intense it got by the time I got ready to deliver, I've got that pain. It kind of cut off from him and I got the end of it.

SPEAKER_01: 4:40

How many siblings did you all have together? We have,

SPEAKER_00: 4:44

my mom had five and we were the baby. Oh, you were the babies. Yeah, we were the, he, he, oh, I'm your elder. That three minutes he had that he was older than me. I'm your elder. So he had that. He was born first. I was like, oh my goodness. I don't care. I was the baby. I'm the baby, baby.

SPEAKER_01: 5:05

That's so neat though. So did you ever feel like your bond shaped how you see relationships or life in general? Oh, most definitely. Definitely. One thing

SPEAKER_00: 5:14

he was is he was an encourager. I don't care what you were going through or how you was feeling. He was an encourager. If I got off work and I'm just in a bad space or I'm driving home from work or whatever, he would call me. He was like, I know you're feeling bad. I can tell you're feeling bad. So he would talk to me on my way home to just try to encourage me. He was like, I just need for you to buy time. You get home, I just need for you to just let this go by time you pick the kids up so you can just focus on the kids. And that's what I learned to do when I had a stressful day at work. By the time I just kind of decompressed before I got to the school because my kids at the time was in three different schools. And so by the time I picked up the first child, I got it out my system. And I'd be like, hey, how was your day? Tell me how your day was until we get to the next school. You got to cut yours off. And then I got to start with the next child. That's what I would do every day. Decompress. By the time I pick up that first child, you tell me how your day was until we get to the next school. You got to stop. When this one get in the car, they got to tell me how they do it. And that's the way it was. We got home. 30 minutes. They knew. Just give me 30 minutes to myself before we get started with dinner and homework. And by the time I come out, they already sitting at the table. We ready to rock and roll.

SPEAKER_01: 6:36

Yeah. Well, you had a routine.

SPEAKER_00: 6:38

That's what you had to do to survive. But he kind of helped me with that because I was struggling. I think people don't realize when you're a mom, you're a wife, you got the household, you got a job, and then you got a husband that's in the military, you struggle with a lot trying to put stuff together. So he helped me kind of put stuff together where I had that routine where I was good.

UNKNOWN: 7:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 7:02

So

SPEAKER_00: 7:03

he was there. He was an encourager.

SPEAKER_01: 7:05

So I know you agreed to come on today to talk about that loss. And losing someone close is always hard. But losing a twin, that's a unique kind of grief. That it is. So can you walk me through what that time was like for you? I

SPEAKER_00: 7:22

can really literally say that had to be the darkest moment in my life. And I think because for one, it was sudden. And so I had just spoke to him the day before. And I guess me and him, we do our usual. We argued every day about something. It didn't care. We didn't care what it was. We just argued just to turn around and laugh. And I guess I had like a lot going on at work that day because I could normally sense when something wrong with him. But that day I was working hard. I was doing a lot. And my mom called me. She said, did you talk to your brother? I said, no, I haven't talked to him. She said, I've been trying to call him. He was raising his daughter at the time herself. She said, Naima was not at the daycare and he hadn't been to work. So at that time, when she said that, I just thought what I was doing. And it's like it just came over me. I just I didn't say anything. Tears started flowing. I grabbed my purse and my job and I just left. By the time I made it outside, my heart sunk. I knew he was gone. I didn't feel that connection anymore. I didn't feel anything. So by the time I was, I was the only somebody that had a key to his apartment. I'm on my way there. My oldest sister's on her way there. And by the time I got there, I think my sister must have called the maintenance or whatever. He had passed somewhere in between the night. He had put his daughter to sleep and he do what he normally do when he wash and close the photo. He'll just lay on the floor and like, look in a book or on his tablet while he's doing it. And that's where he was. He had, just like he just went to sleep. And his daughter had, from what I can understand, because she was there with him while he was gone. She just got up and she played in the house all day by herself. She saw him, but she just figured he was asleep.

SPEAKER_01: 9:18

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 9:19

And I said, I guess you think the maintenance guy went in because he wouldn't let me go in. He said, no, he got her out. And he said, I'm not going to let you go in. And but when my mom got there and went in, they just said she had played, toys would stroll all through the house. She could open the refrigerator and he had like grapes at the bottom where she can just get some grapes where she had to went in the refrigerator. She had to fed herself, but she just played just thinking he was asleep. And I couldn't. I don't know. It's like I couldn't catch my breath. It's like I just couldn't breathe because it was like it was sucking the life out of me, so to speak. And I just couldn't, as they say, I just could not get myself together no matter what I did. It was my kid, the first loss that they had close to them because he was my best friend. So they saw their uncle every day because we were together every day. And After that, I just kind of like my whole world just shattered. And you don't know. This might sound kind of crazy, but when you lose something that close to you, you lose that bond, you literally feel like you cannot go on. You really, because it will always been you. You and him together. And you feel like now I got to... I got to live my life alone, so to speak, because I wasn't born alone, but I got to live the rest of my life alone. Because in my mind, we was going to grow old together, sitting on the porch and rocking chairs and do what we usually do. We argue with each other. But at the age of 41, I lost all of that. He died when we was 41. What did they say the cause was? They just said he died of natural causes. He died in his sleep. So he wasn't It wasn't a heart attack. It wasn't anything. He just died in his sleep. And I knew because I kept saying, I had just literally left the doctor with him probably about two weeks ago. And they was just telling him he was in great shape because he was a big guy. He just told him that, he said, everything, your pressure and everything good. He was like, you been walking? He said, yeah, I go walking every day. He said, I can tell. And so from the doctor's perspective, he was fine. But I don't feel like I lost everything. And when I did that, I went into a depression. Right. I was going to ask you, how did you grieve? Yeah, I went into a depression for about three months. I literally would go to work every day, come back home, just get in the bed, don't do anything. And my ex-husband now, I must admit, he helped in one sense when it came to that depression. I think I might've been the last part. And he was like, he came in and he was like, I don't know how you feeling. I can't imagine how you feeling. Yeah. But I do know one thing, your kids, they are missing you. They are, they see you sad. They're sad. You just got to kind of pull yourself out of it because they are missing you. And I think thinking about them, that's what really made me just really come out of. And the fact that, He wouldn't even want me to be like that. And I looked and I said to myself, people say, well, how did you come out of it? It was that. I said, but sometimes we realize it ain't how do we come out of it. Me personally, I didn't want to come out of it. Because that means I got to deal with the fact he's no longer here. I didn't want to come out. I knew I needed to come out. I just didn't want to come out of it. But when he said that to me, it kind of clicked by my kids. So... When he said that, I knew I had to be there for them. I had to be a little stronger for them because I was not strong at all. I wasn't trying to be strong because I was broken. And the kids, they was like, they didn't want to mention his name. I got to the point where I told them, I said, it doesn't bother me for you to mention his name because it helped me to talk about him. I said, okay. And people always say, oh, you have to remember the good times and not the bad time. I tell people I never had a bad time. We always had good times. We never had a bad time together. So all my memories are good times. So I said just that. It wasn't that I didn't want to come. I just didn't want to come out because that means I got to deal with reality. He's literally not here for me. He's not here for me to call again. I mean, when you're used to somebody doing something every day, it's hard to come out of it. It's very hard to come out of it.

SPEAKER_01: 14:09

Well, there's a special bond to being a twin, obviously being a sibling, but being a twin. Like you said, you were connected in a very special way. And you said you had to come out for the kids. What ages were the kids that would be able to process that as well?

SPEAKER_00: 14:26

The oldest, she was in college. And so the other two was in high school. It was after you kind of, because it's literally uncontrollable crying. Everything remind you of this person. Whether it's a song you guys used to sing together. Everything about just inside of my house remind me of him. So after, you know, you try to get yourself together. And I told the kids, I said, it's okay to talk. Because they were Ulysses. We called him Grant. I said, it's okay to talk about Uncle Grant.

SPEAKER_01: 15:01

I

SPEAKER_00: 15:02

said it actually helped me because by me thinking about all the stuff we did, I smiled, I laughed. And so it just really helped me just talking about him to kind of get me through this whole thing. Right. And, you know, I know we all know, we should know, a lot is depending on God. Right. You got to have that strength. You got to have that faith in God because even like I said, I knew I had to come out. I just didn't want to come out. And I knew my kids needed me. But the only thing that actually gave me strength to do that, to come out, was God. Because I was like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't want to do anything. I go to work. I didn't have any joy about me at all. Nothing. I was just walking in limbo. I didn't have anything about me.

SPEAKER_01: 15:55

I love that you mentioned God, because I know that's hard. to trust God and you want to question why.

SPEAKER_00: 16:02

Yeah, you ask the question why, why I had to be the one to lose my twin. Why, why, you just want to know why, why it's me. Why it had to be me. Why we can't grow old together. And then you see, you just watching TV and just like everywhere you look, it was like twins. Everywhere. I'm looking at TV, I'm looking at twins that them grew old together. And I'm like, now why they can grow old together? You know, it just, You see, it's like you were seeing everything that you wanted for your life that, you know, you couldn't have for your life anymore.

SPEAKER_01: 16:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 16:34

So

SPEAKER_01: 16:34

you felt a little angry or confused.

SPEAKER_00: 16:37

Oh, yeah. You were like, oh, my goodness. Why me? Why I got to go through this? Right.

SPEAKER_01: 16:43

Was there a moment when you felt like God showed up in a way that surprised you?

SPEAKER_00: 16:47

Oh, most definitely. It happened at the most inconvenient times or moments. just out of nowhere. And I knew it was, in a sense, him and God. And I was just doing something, and I was in the kitchen, and I was just feeling, I was just sad. And believe it or not, I still can feel him to this day, even though he's no longer here. And when you're feeling bad, and I just, it's a weird thing, but I was sitting at the kitchen table, I was just kind of sad. And I felt... Like somebody just brushed their hand right across my shoulder.

SPEAKER_01: 17:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 17:30

And it kind of like when that happened, it's like it took that sadness I had away. And all I said was, thank you, God. I know that you grinned. That's all I said. So he still come to me in different ways. And it'd be the weirdest thing. I'm the type of person, I never oversleep. I never, I'm always early for something or whatever. One morning, I don't know why I was oversleeping. And I'm going to tell you now, I knew I didn't feel like I was trying to get up to go to work. And he grabbed me by my leg and he pulled my leg. And when I jumped up, I mean, pulled hard enough to snatch me down in the bed a little bit. I jumped up and I looked at the clock. I said, oh, my God. I said, and all I said was, dude, you didn't have to snatch me that hard. And... I just said, dude, you didn't have to snatch me that hard. I was like, but thank you though, because I'm running late.

SPEAKER_01: 18:30

God's having Grant look from above going, wake her up.

SPEAKER_00: 18:35

You didn't have to snatch me that hard, but thank you. I'm running late. Well, I can feel him in different places or if I'm doing something, I can just like, if I'm in my car riding by myself, just singing or whatever, I can feel his presence in the other seat. It's weird, but I can. I

SPEAKER_01: 18:53

know grief looks differently for a lot of different people. But how long did it take you to really be okay with him being gone?

SPEAKER_00: 19:03

Weird story, believe it or not. One of my good friends is also a twin. She had a twin brother. A year and a half after his death, she lost her twin brother. Wow. And... I had to use my experience to help her get through that loss. So I said, this is hard. This is going to bring up a whole lot of stuff for me, but you need it. And I said, and I think in the process it's going to help me because I'm trying to help you get through yours. And I was like, never would have thought I lose my twin brother and a year and a half later she loses hers. And her twin brother was at work and he got sick. He went into a coma. He was on the ventilator. He was going to be a vegetable. She was willing to quit her job. I'm going to take care of him and I'm going to take care of him. And I had to talk to her and I was like, you don't want to hear this. You're going to be mad, but I'm going to have to tell you anyway. I wouldn't be a good friend if I don't tell you. I said, that is not a life for him to live. That is not how he want to live. And that's not how he would want you to have to give up everything to take care of him. I said, he would never, Be himself again. I said, right now, the machine is breathing for him. I said, it's not fair to you. It's not fair to him. It's not fair to the family. I said, I need you to get to a point where you're able to let him go. I said, the one thing you have that I didn't have, you're able to tell him goodbye. I didn't have that. You're able to tell your brother goodbye. I said, I didn't get that. I said, the only thing I had was a phone call we had the day before, the night before, and that's it. You able to say what you want to say to him right now, but to in a sense, have him go through that, live a life like that. I said, it's not fair. She was mad with me because she didn't want to hear because she didn't want to let go of him. And I understood that. And I said, I don't care about you being mad. I'm going to have to tell you what it is. I said, your mom trying to tell you, you don't want to hear anything. I'm telling you from a person who done lost their twin, this is not fair. This is not fair to him. It's not fair to you. So eventually it took a couple of days, but the end, I said, if you pull that plug and he's still breathing, then that's God telling you, let him live. But if he don't, Then you was just having him on a machine, racking up a hospital bill, and it's not fair. They pulled the plug. An hour later, he passed. That's what I said. And then she came back. I want to say after the funeral, she said, I really hate you, but you was right. She said, I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear it from anybody. And she said, you always been that person. You come in, you're going to say what you have to say. And she said, you always said, I don't care if you mad with me. I don't care if you just stay pissed off at me. I don't care. But I'm going to tell you what I think is right. You don't have to take my advice. You don't have to do anything. But I'm going to tell you anyway. And she was like, you were right. That wasn't fair. I said, I'm just trying. I said, you got something I didn't get. Yeah. So use that. That's your closure right there. You're able to get some closure for yourself. Yeah. So I said, me talking about this actually helping me get through my part. I didn't get a chance to say anything. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

UNKNOWN: 22:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 22:42

She was like, well, I didn't realize it like that. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just telling you, you got something I didn't get to do. So take advantage of it.

SPEAKER_01: 22:51

That's it. So turning your pain into purpose. How do you think his passing changed who you are today?

SPEAKER_00: 23:01

It makes you live life in the present. Whatever that day brings, you live it to the fullest. Of course, we prepare for the future, but there's nothing guaranteed we will make it there. So every day, I live every day like it's absolutely my last because that's how he lived his life. If he didn't have Any money at all, you would not know it because he lived his life as he was the richest man on earth. That's how he lived his life. And I took that. I was like, that's what I'm going to do. That's how I'm going to live my life as if I'm the richest person on the earth. And it changed everything about me. I became more happier. Everything, I didn't let anything bother me. My kids think I'm crazy these days. They'll say something, I'll be like, oh, I don't care. Oh, I don't know. They was like, you're not going to say anything. I don't, I mean, what you want me to say? And it's just like, I got to the point where I just didn't let anything bother me that I tell them all the time. I said, can you control whatever it is? No. Why are we worrying about it? You can't control what other people do. Can't control what they say. You go and control what you say and do. That's it. I said, everything else, God will work it out. And you were never like that before.

UNKNOWN: 24:19

No.

SPEAKER_00: 24:20

I had got to the point where I was happy because, believe it or not, I have the most strangest stories.

SPEAKER_01: 24:32

I'm interested, girl.

SPEAKER_00: 24:32

I'm interested. But like I told you, when I was young, I was like the little mean one or whatever. But I was telling people, I said, the first five years of my marriage, I was just, I was mean. I didn't smile. I didn't do anything. And one day, it just kind of, It drives you to make you just, you just get tired of just being a mean person. But people tell me, oh, you got a bad attitude. I did. They was absolutely telling the truth. One day I looked in the mirror. I asked God, show me what you don't like about me so I can change who I am. Don't do that. God's going to give you. Yeah. Be careful what you ask for. Don't do it unless you're ready.

SPEAKER_01: 25:15

I've made that mistake before.

SPEAKER_00: 25:17

Don't do it unless you're ready. And when he showed me pretty much how I treated people, it's kind of like I was looking through somebody else's eyes. I was just nasty for no reason. My mouth was lethal. I'm telling you, it was something else. And I said, I didn't like the person that's off. So I worked hard. I changed a lot about me. I used to be so hard on them, just so hard on them all the time. Till one day, it was like running my oldest daughter. She said she was scared to tell me that she dropped my laptop and cracked the stream. Because normally I just fly into a little rage, fussing or whatever. And so she said, I dropped your laptop and cracked the stream. I said, oh, it's okay. I'll just, I get another one. They was like, you okay? I was like, oh, it's fine. I'll just buy another one. And they was like shocked because they was waiting on me to just, yeah. But I didn't. I said, It's okay. I can just get another one. She was like, are you okay? I was like, yeah, why? You're not fussing or anything. I was like, I mean, I just got to the point. That's materialistic. If that's break, I can just get another one. I said, something happened to you guys. I can't get another one. I said, anything materialistic, I got to the point. I don't care if it break. If I got the money, I just get another one. If not, we'll just do without. And they was like, You sure you okay? So that switch really came after your mother's passing? It switched after I did. I mean, I started looking at stuff differently. I didn't care about certain things. And they was like, are you sure? I cared about spending all my time with them, trying to make them. I said, oh, I just want you guys to be productive citizens. That's it. And I spent most of my time pretty much trying to make sure they are who I want them to be, as in you treat people how you want to be treated. Because I knew what it was like because I didn't treat people how I wanted to be treated. I treated people bad. And I told myself, you want to treat people how you want to be treated. I mean, I had got to the point where I just talked all the time. And I told myself, I just look at things like this. If my kids out in the world and something happened, I want God to have somebody there to help you guys because I'm not going to be able to do it. So he's going to place somebody there that's going to help you. So everything I do now is because I want, in case something happens, there is somebody, a place to help you guys in case you need some help because I'm not going to be there where you are. I said, now everything I do is pretty much you treat people how you want to be treated. I'm always smiling. I'm always cordial to a person or whatever. This one guy told me, he said, do you smile like that all the time? I said, you don't? He was like, no. He was like, why are you smiling? I said, I did. at one point, but now I say I wake up every morning with a smile on my face. I said, I'm just happy. I said, I'm just a happy person. I said, I realized that happiness had to come from within. You can't get it from nobody, nowhere. God got to work on you and that have to come from within. When it do, You just wake up full of joy. He was like, I'm just a ball of sunshine. You're really are.

SPEAKER_01: 28:34

Well, that's funny you mentioned that because I was looking at this question. I was like, what part of your brother do you carry with you now? And I was thinking about it and you were talking about in the beginning what your brother was like, this bubbly guy. So I think he inserted a lot of him in you.

SPEAKER_00: 28:46

Most definitely because I have an older brother. He's two years older now. It's like I got some of his characteristics and he got the other part of it. And I said, why you look like him? And he looked at me, he was like, why you don't? But it's like he picked up something and I know I pulled a lot. It's like his energy, like it just separated and went in different parts of us. So I was like, I don't know. You just want to be happy and you want to help people however you can. No matter what it is or who it is, if you got the ability to help somebody, whether it's a kind word, whatever it is, you should do that.

SPEAKER_01: 29:32

Well, I was going to say, well, we met through volunteering. So what led you to that kind of work? And I just see now it's just it's what's been infused in you.

SPEAKER_00: 29:39

Oh, yeah, because I volunteer and I used to do it all the time. My kids, that's what I kind of instilled in them is service, helping other people, less fortunate people. You just want to help people. I said, we have something some people don't have. But what we all have is how you use it is time. Yeah. We all have time. Some people just want to lay around and watch TV. You don't need but two hours and you go help somebody. That's it. I say, whether it's the nursing home, I just love to go to the nurse home because the old people, you know, they're kind of funny. They say whatever they want to say. And the kids that got interested in going to the nurse home, are we going back to that nurse home? So it's just, I say, it's always just small gestures that make an impression on people. I said, when the kids got older, I didn't buy Christmas gifts. I just go and buy the little tags off the trees for the nursing home because they just wanted socks, scarves, gloves. Of course, I put a whole basket together for them because it didn't cost them much and they didn't want much. Most of them didn't have family. And the real thing is my twin brother worked at a nursing home. He loved being around older people. And they loved him. So I was like, it was like, you had nursing home because of Dr. Grant. I said, look, I was doing this before Dr. Grant decided to go to the nursing home. Y'all are not going to take that from me.

SPEAKER_01: 31:10

Well, do you think helping others became part of your own journey, too, in your

SPEAKER_00: 31:13

healing? It really has. It really has. Because we all have different things we struggle with. No matter what it is, at some point we're struggling with something. And helping other people, you might be helping them in one way, but they might have something you need to help you with that struggle you're going through. It might be as a word they might be able to give you. It's something that they have to help you with that struggle you're going through.

SPEAKER_01: 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 31:41

So, yeah, I mean, I love being out in the community, helping. I don't know. I just like being around people.

UNKNOWN: 31:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 31:50

What's something you believe now that you didn't before this chapter of your life?

SPEAKER_00: 31:55

It's simple, but it's true. We think about it and not necessarily have it, but it's happiness. We talk about it, but when you really truly have it, it's a different feeling. It's a totally different feeling. And going through... Everything I went through with him, I learned that no matter what, you need your happiness. You need your peace. You got to have it. It'll pull you through all kinds of situations if you got it. That happiness, that inner happiness, that inner peace, it'll pull you through a lot. You're like, why I worry about this? This is not who I am. Why I'm allowing someone to pull something from me that I already have in me? Why am I lying on this? And then you just have to remember who you are. You're a child of God. You have to say, who am I? I'm a child of God. You have to say that stuff out loud

SPEAKER_01: 33:02

sometimes. I think what I love the most, Melissa, is just through the pain, how you have turned it into such positivity. And you can just walk through day to day. Oh, yeah, you have to. If

SPEAKER_00: 33:19

you stay stuck there, you're missing out on life. You're missing out on life. If you have a family, you're missing out on that. I missed out for three months, and I was like, I can't let it go any further. And he wouldn't have wanted that either. No, he most definitely wouldn't have wanted that. I knew I needed to come out. I just didn't want to come out. Right, right. It's just like, I know what I need to do. That means I got to come out and face everything. Face this life without him. But by me talking about it, doing different things, I always do stuff in his memory. Or I'm always thinking about him or whatever. It just helped me. He helped me move through life. It's just that he's in another plane. That's it. He's doing it for the spiritual world. Helping me move through life. That's it.

SPEAKER_01: 34:14

Well, I do hope that Hearing your story will just give that little bit of encouragement that somebody needs to hear. They're not the only one that has ever been through that. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00: 34:24

It's all about how you channel that grief. That's it.

SPEAKER_01: 34:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 34:29

It's all about how you channel it. You can make it work for you. You can make it benefit you. Or you can make it keep you stuck in the past.

SPEAKER_01: 34:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 34:36

You just have to channel it, right? That's it.

SPEAKER_01: 34:39

And God has other plans, right? Oh, yeah. We don't understand it, but you just, God's saying, I've got that for you. If you just let this go and then take.

SPEAKER_00: 34:48

He will most definitely. That's why I think you're making plans to know because they always get changed. I can do initial, but we're going to have to wing everything else.

SPEAKER_01: 35:00

Well, I appreciate this. It's so good to talk to you. And I love everything. I'm pulling everything from you all that. Yeah, this was great. I put a lot of things in the show notes for anybody. If they want to contact you, what would be the best way if somebody had a connection with your story that maybe wanted to reach out to you?

SPEAKER_00: 35:20

It'd probably email because I normally check my email

SPEAKER_01: 35:23

constantly. Okay. Well, I'll go ahead and link that in the show notes and then I'll put even your LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_00: 35:28

Okay. That'd be great.

SPEAKER_01: 35:30

Yeah. All right, Melissa. Well, thank you for this.

SPEAKER_00: 35:33

I'm so happy. I mean, I really didn't think I have a story, but I mean. You do. Everybody does.

SPEAKER_01: 35:39

And girls, yours was fantastic. I want to thank Melissa so much for opening her heart and sharing her hardest yet powerful chapter of her story. Her journey from grief to embracing joy and living with faith, feeling Grant's presence in all she does, it's truly inspiring. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Hidden Chapters so you don't miss stories like Melissa's. And if you found this episode meaningful, leave a review. It really helps other listeners find the show. To connect with Melissa, check the show notes on how to contact her. Until next chapter, keep listening for what connects us the most.