"Brave New Horizons" Author Jose Raymundo on Immigration, 30-Year Military Service, and Resilience

From arriving in the U.S. without knowing a word of English to rising through the ranks to become a Sergeant Major, Jose Raymundo’s story is one of struggles, triumphs and deep resilience.

In this conversation, Jose opens up about the hidden chapters behind his military career, the emotional weight of service, the quiet battles few ever saw, and the courage it took to share his story in his new memoir.

We talk about what it really means to transition from military to civilian life, the lessons that come from counseling and self-reflection, and the healing power of reconnecting with family. Jose reminds us that behind every uniform is a human story and that sharing those stories can bring light, hope, and healing to others walking the same road.

So many hidden chapters in his story, I can't wait to share. 

Takeaways from our conversation: 

• Jose's journey highlights the challenges of transitioning from military to civilian life.
• Writing a book can be a therapeutic process, but it also brings up painful memories.
• Transparency in storytelling fosters connection and relatability with the audience.
• Language barriers can complicate the military experience for non-native speakers.
• The importance of mentorship and support in achieving personal goals.
• Family connections play a crucial role in personal development and healing.
• Reactions from family members can lead to unexpected insights and healing.
• Future aspirations include writing more about the hidden struggles of veterans.

 📖 You can purchase Jose's book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/j7El8lb

You can also reach out to Jose on Facebook:
FB author page: Jose F Raymundo- Author-

Email José:  

  📧 raymundoandassociatesllc@gmail.com

  📧  jfraymundo@hotmail.com

Transcript

Genevieve: 0:00

Hi there. Thank you for choosing to listen to Hidden Chapters, where we share the hidden moments behind the public chapters of life. The struggles, triumphs, and lessons that often go unspoken. I'm excited to introduce Jose Raimundo. Jose, or Ray, retired from the military after 30 years of service. He's a dedicated husband, father, proud grandfather, and a first-time author driven by a passion for helping others. His debut memoir, Brave New Horizons from El Salvador to the U.S. Army, tells the inspiring story of an immigrant who arrived with very little and transformed his life through determination and discipline, ultimately rising to the rank of sergeant major. When he's not writing, he cherishes moments with his adult children and grandchild. Fixes cars, creates uplifting motivational posts on social media, and embraces every opportunity to learn and grow. So many hidden chapters in his story. Toward the end of last season, I was excited to receive an email from Jose mentioning he was recommended my podcast by his editor Brunella. Brunella's the same editor of my husband's book, so I was honored for the recommendation. Once Jose and I had the opportunity to talk and he shared a story with me, I knew his book and his hidden chapters would be a perfect fit in season two. So I'm excited to welcome Jose to the show.

Jose: 1:29

Well, thank you. Appreciate it.

Genevieve: 1:30

Of course. So your book was released in May, and this is your podcast debut.

Jose: 1:37

I'm excited for that. I'm kind of nervous, but that's okay. I go with the flow.

Genevieve: 1:42

That's all right. Well, this will kick off the rest of your future podcast guests' appearances. All right. So I want to gr uh get into that first question about the journey before your book. So what inspired you to write your story and turn it into a book?

Jose: 2:00

Well, there's two parts of the stories about it. The first one is um when I started this, originally it was I was trying to create something like a referral book or an encyclopedia specifically for young soldiers going to the military. Um, the book was not originally intended to become what it is now, which is almost my autobiography memorial, but it was more like, okay, so as a young soldier going to the military, um, not speaking English the first language.

Genevieve: 2:32

Yeah.

Jose: 2:33

What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to tackle this adventure? Yes, the military had a lot of uh reference. You got technical manuals, you have regulations, you got all those things that tell you what how you're supposed to do everything in the military from how to march, how to prepare for your physical fitness test, how do you prepare for the incoming promotion board? But my book was more personalized about the experience. For example, you know, how do you tackle nervousness when you're about to encounter a promotion board? How can you manage a challenged soldier who doesn't want to listen? Um, how do you manage a situation where a soldier is is is is trying to be a good soldier, but somehow he's doubting about himself. How do you manage a toxic leader? So it was more about you know um creating a reference book. But all that changed when I did my speech uh in my retirement. Uh a lot of people knew who the sergeant major was, but a few people knew who actually I was as a person. So, of course, part of my speech was uh my history, how I came to the United States, I didn't speak English, I had any money, no education. So a few people approached me after the um the the speech and they said you should write a book about it because there's a lot of people up there that actually may change, may face those challenges that you did. And that book might probably help him to navigate and understand that hey, you know what? If he did it, I'm dumb as a rock. Um obviously I can make it too. And I use that book as a way to transpire a message, utilize amount of history that you know, no matter what your circumstances, you can succeed in life, not just in the military, but in general. Um, and that's how turned out to be a memorial um from what I originally started to where it is now.

Genevieve: 4:33

Yeah. And I love that too, because I once I really dove into your book, I was intrigued from the very beginning of all of the things that you started early in your life and the things that you succeeded in. That yes, your message definitely is somebody who literally came from nothing, can do so much. So I loved that that was a message that you ultimately turned it into because I do believe that that's something a lot of people need to hear. So, what's something about your journey to becoming a published author that most people aren't seeing or have heard about?

Jose: 5:09

Uh, well, you know what? I I originally when I started writing, um, just because I have to revive a lot of my past, yeah, it brought me a lot of emotionals. You know, I cried, I was angry, um, I even laugh about so many things to the point that I had to take a break. Um, because I I I reached a point that, you know, by connecting with my past, depending on what part of the book I was writing, I like I told you, I couldn't cry. I was very upset that to the point that I was talking to Brunella, my editor, and I said, No, I cannot do this no more because I have to take a break.

Genevieve: 5:46

Yeah.

Jose: 5:47

Because remember certain parts of the book, I feel this way, I feel this way. And she encouraged me, I understand, take a break, but it's normal for you to connect in your past. Depending on what kind of book you're writing. In my case, it was a biography for my life, for my experiences. Remembering those things like having a PTSD all over again. And it was very hard. That's not the part a lot of people don't see that it was easy to write, but when you remember things that happened in the past, to me, it really hurt me, it really touched me. So it took me a long time to finish the writer. I say, oh, this is easy. I can do this in a couple of months, I can do maybe 10 pages a day. But I didn't consider the consequences of how those write-ups starts, those pages are gonna affect me, but I remember things that I I I buried in the past. It's still in my mind, but I didn't expect it to affect me so much to the the way they did it. So that's not too many people know about it. But um, I'm glad I did because somehow it helped me to therapy, but at the same time, it really hurt me because it reminds me about what I what I've been through all my life.

Genevieve: 7:01

No, I understand that completely. Uh, especially watching Chris go through the same process of writing a book. It's what I'm hearing a lot, is where you're really having to dig deep, especially being military. There's a lot of people that say that, but they suppress it because it's not the time to have that conversation. It's not the time to work through that because you're trying to continue to stay on a mission. But then it is usually that I'm hearing after that retirement and after that uniform comes off, and you have to unpack that rucksack, that's when a lot of those things have to be dealt with. And so I watched Chris similar to what you were saying, is he had to literally push himself away from the computer because there were days he was angry, there was days he was sad, there was days he was like, I'm done, I'm not doing this. And so I can completely understand where that's coming from. About how long did it take you? What what come what was your break time frame?

Jose: 7:55

So originally when I started, I started writing around February of the same year. I was gonna retire 2022. Okay, my intention was to finish everything and publish the book the day of my retirement, which it was one November. It took me two years. It took me 10 months, like I thought. Um, not just because of the situation that I just described to you, but also you gotta consider that I'm about to publish intimate details of my life to the public.

Genevieve: 8:26

Absolutely.

Jose: 8:27

And, you know, like, you know, do you want to continue with this or not? Because eventually it was not so much about become famous or people know me. It's because just like the stigmatized that we do with the with the health, uh, with mental health.

Genevieve: 8:42

Yes.

Jose: 8:42

If you don't speak about it, you don't know who's listening. And that person may be hidden somewhere saying, I'm the only one who's suffering from this, but you never know who else is going through the same situation. So just described to you so many events that happened to me in my life throughout my 30 years in the military before that maybe somebody who's reading the book, somebody who is listening to my story and saying, you know what, I thought I was the only one. And maybe that creates connection, maybe in person, maybe virtual, maybe through a book, that can actually help that person to navigate to the challenges the same way that I did. So that's that's the another part that people don't know about it. So I was very nervous, I was very uh attention. I was like, what about people don't like it? What about this part? But I said, you know what? I mean, it is what it is, I'm human, and maybe somebody may help this book to become his navigation tool or her navigation too. Who knows?

Genevieve: 9:42

Right. Well, that was the when we spoke too, that was the heart of why hidden chapters came about for me, is because I knew there's so many of us that have stories that we don't often share. And people gonna are gonna look at you from face value and have no idea what you've been through. But when you get those opportunities to share those things, that's where that real connection comes in because you never know, like you said after your retirement speech, how many people came up to you and go, I resonated with that. Or wow, me too. And I really appreciate the people that have come on so far, like yourself, who are taking the time to share that story because it does need to be heard. And when you do share those, we never know who's listening on the other end and goes, I've been there, done that, understand that. Yeah. So I really I appreciate all of you all there sharing your stories on paper, sharing your stories on the mic because it is gonna resonate with somebody. We just have no idea who is gonna dead. So was there a chapter or section that in between your writing was especially hard or emotional to write?

Jose: 10:43

Um, there were three parts actually that were very hard for me to write. Um and I asked Brunella about it, my editor, and I asked, you know, myself multiple times should I do it? The first one was to talk about the many events of suicide between my family. Uh because again, when when I remember those parts, uh it's very hard for me to talk about it. I didn't want to mention them because you know I respect um my family and a sense I want to keep them private. But I think it's important because you know how many people actually struggle with this situation. I didn't mention details, but at least the emotions that came with knowing that I experienced that three times. Yeah. Maybe somebody's out there need help, you know, and in and hopefully, you know, people reach out to me and ask me advice on how to manage those things. I'm not a doctor, but you know, I'm a human being. The second part for me to write was about my kids, you know, because again, no, it doesn't matter how much I can do for them now, but I still feel that um I owe them a lot. It's it's it's my guilty conscience that I think that I was I didn't balance military and personal life like appropriately, like anybody else. I didn't have a a book to tell me how to become a dad and thing like that. You know, I didn't have a role model. Uh I didn't grow up with a father, but I did the best I could, which is kind of hard for me to write. And the last part that actually this is very hard was my uh my investigation that took place right before my retirement. Um, the allegedly situation that I was facing. The reason it was hard for me to write because it really hurts me because I'm not the type of person who's gonna hurt somebody's career or somebody's feelings. Um and it to me it was very painful to be associated with a person like that, you know, being uh somebody who actually be a lookout for. Uh and and and I tell you, it was very painful for me that I could, you know, do some harm unintentionally to this person. Um at the end, everything was resolved. Um there is extended circumstances that create that probably I think it created that misunderstanding with this person, but I'm not here to judge. I'm just bear to experience that you know that it really hurt me, it really touched me emotionally and personally. Um and that was part of my journey.

Genevieve: 13:17

That was an interesting one that I had read uh about your uh situation. Do you mind going back over that again? Of just the setup of of what was happening right before your retirement.

Jose: 13:30

So when when I found out about it, the the allegedly uh crime that I committed, uh I felt defeat because you know, how can I somebody do something? I'm not capable of doing anything like that. I was that's a lot of emotion came to my mind.

Genevieve: 13:47

Yeah.

Jose: 13:48

And even though people believe in me on my innocent, you know, it's just the fact that people don't know me or just the fact that my name was associated with this type of uh crime, it was very painful for me. Because you were accused of uh I like Julian sexual harassment.

Genevieve: 14:04

Right, that's right.

Jose: 14:06

Um so at the end of uh the investigation, which basically I received a letter of uh uh from the commanding general telling me everything was clear and we apologize for misunderstood that you can continue, you transition to retirement. It was not the same, it wasn't the same. I feel like you know, I don't want to celebrate something knowing that I am being labeled, even though I was already clear, but it's not the same. It's like you have a cop and you break the cup, yeah, you can get glue and put it together. It looked the same, but it's not gonna be the same.

Genevieve: 14:41

Right.

Jose: 14:41

So I was very painful. I did not receive uh any retirement party. I did not receive any recognitions in front of the audience. Basically, I just give it to me in a lunch break, um, away from anybody else. Because I think in my because I put a lot of pressure on me, I didn't deserve it. Uh, so it's very painful for me to be walking around with glory other stuff after you know the situation. So it really touched me a lot. It took me a while even to have a conversation with one of the supervisors of the soldier. They were my friends, you know. And a year after the incident, I went to have coffee with this person and I said, Can I ask you something? We are friends, it's already over, but why you didn't tell me why you didn't call me and ask me face-to-face if this was true? I understand that there was some situation where, you know, like the the people big interview cannot talk to the allegedly perpetrator.

Genevieve: 15:43

Right.

Jose: 15:44

But, you know, the investigation was over. So why you didn't call me and have the conversation with me to clear any misunderstanding? And he started crying and he started apologizing because he thought my social media pages that oh, he looks okay, he pushed his retirement page, he pushed his retirement picture with his family. He must be happy, he must be getting over. Internally, I was devastated. Yeah, but he didn't know about it. So he said, he said, uh, I guess I uh like anybody else on social media, don't take everything like you see on social media because you never know what's going through. And I tell you, I have to talk to psychologists, I have to talk to doctors in order to how did I manage this thing? I feel bad, you know, but at the same time, I cannot believe that really hurt me most as is my friends give me the back when I need it the most. Not a single person called me to check on me. Not a single person, only my commanding general, my company commander, and my first sergeant. That's the only three people that call me all the time to check on me. Nobody else did that. So that really hurt me the most because, you know, I'm alone. Yeah. You know, it's just like again, the book, you know, I had disappointment with many friends, and that was a very, very painful moment for me.

Genevieve: 17:02

What made you decide to include that? Because I know how painful that was for you. What was that process? You had felt like it needed to be included, but what was that process like having to write through that and then decide to keep it in the book?

Jose: 17:17

Well, to write it was the easy part because you know it's like my psychology always says, you know, use the paper to write your emotions. Yeah. Don't spit it out to people. Um the hard part was to decide whether not to include it. So I talked to Brunella, I talked to my psychology, you know, Shula, Shulana, and I said, Well, you know, I mean, you're human. You know, don't portray a picture that you're the perfect man, the perfect sur mayor, the perfect soldier. There's no perfection on this planet. Yeah, you know, and basically it's part of your journey. You never know who else is going to this thing. Um, and people who actually know you, they're gonna believe it. People don't know you, they're gonna believe it, but at the same time, you know, it's part of who you are. So it was it was like, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. I was like that for at least, I would say probably three months.

Genevieve: 18:10

Wow.

Jose: 18:11

You know, just to decide whether or not to include it. Um, I didn't have anything to hide again. I didn't put any names to preserve the names of those individuals. Uh, a lot of people probably didn't know about it.

Genevieve: 18:23

Yeah.

Jose: 18:24

Um, but again, you know, it was very hard to decide. And that was the only chart that I was left before the book was completed. They're like, Do you want to include it? Uh in Brunel, I was like, let me tell you my advice as an editor, not as a person. I talked to my psychology, let me give you my experience on this. And, you know, even I talked to my daughter, so what do you think? So eventually I say, okay, it is what it is, let's go with the rule. So it turned out to be good to a certain thing because uh uh a lot of people focus more into what I have achieved and the message that I'm trying to pass as opposed to that specific chapter of my life.

Genevieve: 19:02

So and I think too, being as transparent as we can be, that brings more people connected to you because you are being very real, you are being very authentic. And like you said, you're human. So they were these were things that happened in your life that you experienced, and they just make you more relatable. So I appreciate you telling me that one too, because I did. I remember reading that one in the book, and I just thought, wow, right before your retirement.

Jose: 19:30

It was our.

Genevieve: 19:31

It was our so I'm interested because a lot of people have said this to you, I'm sure, uh that they're inspired by your book. So what parts are they usually talking about that they're inspired by?

Jose: 19:46

Um, there is not particular part that people actually feel like inspired. I think most most of the comments that I receive is that one, people thought they knew me. But when they heard about it, they're like they were like surprised. But the main the main comment that I get is that they were inspired because how I came to the United States and reached out to some made your rank.

Genevieve: 20:14

Right.

Jose: 20:14

You know, like you know, you came with nothing, you don't speak English, even though I took some courses in my country. Um, I had no money, no education, and all of a sudden now you have all these accreditations, college degrees, and you know, so it's very impressive that you came with nothing, like anyone else who potentially uh immigrated to the United States and now look where you are. You hear the stories of a person like that, you know, come from another country and you make successful, but actually meet somebody in person, you know, that's different. So that's the main the main comment that I receive most of the time is that you know, I want to be like you. I didn't know that it took you all these things to get where you are, because a lot of people see the end results, but they don't see all the struggles that we go through. And especially me, because you know, anybody, if they had the right discipline and the right mentorship, they can reach the sum of your rank in the military, you can become a CEO of the of a corporation.

Genevieve: 21:18

Right.

Jose: 21:18

But you have to add that to other challenges that I have. No English, uh come from a different culture, starting from zero, in another culture with different rules, different environments. So that's add that more into the challenges that we're already faced to to get where we want to be. So that's the main comment that I get most of the time. Is that you did all that and and you still. Yeah, you know, you didn't quit, you didn't give up. Um, there was a point that I actually was gonna throw the towel, but but then that's another story for later. Uh but uh but yeah.

Genevieve: 21:55

There's so much more to everybody's stories.

Jose: 21:57

That's that's the main thing, yeah. Of course, that's the main thing that I that I received from people who read the book. Yeah. One is that they didn't know about a lot of things, and two that they were impressing mostly because of what I had achieved.

Genevieve: 22:12

Yeah. Well, I just found it really interesting was how you came to the US and joined the army, and even while you were at BASIC, you were still learning the English language, and so you didn't know some of the commands and the drills that they were screaming at you, and it was still something that you were trying to learn. So I found that just incredible just to read.

Jose: 22:32

Yeah, the the challenge part for many people don't know is learning English is one thing. Yeah, but learning the military language is a different thing because you know there's a lot of acronyms that the military uses. There are not any dictionaries, like the drill server may say something. I say, I don't see that in the dictionary. Let me look at it, let me look at it. I look at the pages on it. Like it was very it's double for me because my culture is around the military because that's the only thing I know since I came to the United States. Other than my my my job as a cleaner and a limousine company or bagging groceries, being a soldier, that's all I knew. Um and it was very challenged because you know, learning to speak military acronyms and languages, not the same as the regular English.

Genevieve: 23:18

No. Well, I'm a military brat, grew up military around my dad who was Air Force, and then I married military who's army, and I still don't know all the acronyms. That when I was reading, when I was reading Chris's book, I'm like, I need to go to the back because that's where he had all the acronyms written out. Because I still don't know what that means. I still don't know what this means. So that's really funny. Well, I really appreciate where you you had mentioned in um mentioned to me you described your journey as somebody from nobody to somebody. So when you look back, what's a memory that still feels really unreal when you look back back on how far you've come?

Jose: 23:57

Uh I get that question a lot. Yeah. Believe it or not, what most things that I look at is I can speak to you in English.

Genevieve: 24:04

Yeah.

Jose: 24:05

That's it. That's it. Um, because you know, it's just that I don't feel like, and I don't say this is not as a way to be arrogant or anything like that, but you know, all my childhood I was very successful students, uh straight-ed students since I was in high school. But the simple fact that I came to a country where I couldn't even say nothing. I mean, I didn't understand anything. And now I can have a conversation with multiple people all over the world. That's the thing that I say, you know, I came from nobody to somebody. Because if it wasn't because I learned English, I wouldn't be able to communicate with you, for example. I wouldn't be able to write a book, I wouldn't be able to have all the friends that I connect with on a daily basis, or even give advice to my kids, give advice to people who call me. That's the main thing. Because if it wasn't because of that, I mean, like, look how far you become. You know, you can even say, you know, uh, there's a story that I that I that I say about, you know, when I got a cold and I want to have some uh medicine for my flu, and then the this individual makes fun of me because I couldn't express it.

Genevieve: 25:14

Right.

Jose: 25:14

So looking back, that's the only thing that's stuck in my head. It's not the degrees, it's not the become a sign major, it's not because I get all these credentials, academic, and things like that. It's none of that. It's just basically I fully speak English. That's the only thing that really uh struck me the most. And I get that question a lot. People say, that's it. I say, Yeah, that's it. I'm not very, you know, I'm not a very guy who wants a lot. It's just basic, I'm a simple guy who's you know came from humble beginnings, and basically speaking, that's the only thing I can reflect. Wow, I can have a conversation with someone. I say, my goodness, that's impressive. So yeah, that's the only thing I can tell you that uh actually stuck in my head most of the time. People ask me the same question.

Genevieve: 26:02

Yeah. Well, it's funny too. Uh my background is English. I taught high school English in the beginning, and the English language is hard. You've got one word and it's three pronounced three different ways and has three different meanings. So I understand. English is not an easy language to learn.

Jose: 26:21

Yeah, trust me. I mean, it took me a little while. I I'm not saying that I'm very accurate in speaking because I know sometimes when I get very emotional, I sometimes I tend to have a very strong accent. Uh, even when I write a book, there's some parts that actually Brunella was checking my grammar. I said, What do you mean by saying this? I say, you know what? So, yeah, it's still even with all these years, but compare what I how I came, it's a big improvement. So I'm very proud of that.

Genevieve: 26:53

Absolutely. Well, I also have uh I I told you this before, my background, my my grandma was Filipino, and so she spoke seven different dialects, but she spoke good English, but she could in on and on flip it and speak the Tagalog language. And yeah, it's just very impressive to see that she knew so many different languages, but she knew her English.

Jose: 27:13

That's good.

Genevieve: 27:15

So um on that note of speaking, I loved that you mentioned so someone who didn't start out speaking English, you said you mentioned you dreaming of becoming a motivational speaker to inspire those who doubted their own potential, and you wanted to make history as the first Salvadorian John Maxwell, certified speaker, coach, and mentor, which I I love John Maxwell too. So, what was it that sparked that passion for lifting others up? Like what inspired you to want to be the motivational speaker?

Jose: 27:49

Um wow, I never asked that question before.

Genevieve: 27:52

Yeah.

Jose: 27:53

Um, but I think it's because I I reflect myself in a lot of young people. Um I came with nothing, and a lot of people actually give me a hand. Even though I was naive, I still learned the the environment and the United States culture, there's people actually saw potential in me. And those people actually do not have uh uh speaking skills, it just basically sit down in a conversation with me. Um but you know, I I want to reach the masses because I can make a difference in one person, but what about if I can make a difference in a hundred person or ten thousand person? And the reason why I say I want to do that because um it I get that a lot. Whenever I do speeches, which I did quite a few while I was in active duty and right after retirement, there is always someone who approached me and said, Thank you for saying X, Y, and C because actually makes me feel good. And one of the stories that I can tell you that actually inspired even more to become a motivational speaker was I was invited to a GRTC dining-in as a guest speaker. And as soon as I finished my speech, uh there were two kids from Venezuela who actually came, got the green cards, got the visas, and they told me, and I'm gonna forget this, and I'm sorry if I break my voice, but it just when I remember what they told me was, you know, thank you for saying what you're saying. They told me in Spanish. Yeah, now I believe that I can make a future in this country because you just say something that actually impact me, which is you don't know English. And I don't know English right now. I just got here with my parents. I've been in this school six months and try my hard to learn it. But you just basically told me you can make it, and and I'm gonna promise you that I'm gonna be the best. Can't remember what he told me I was gonna. Gonna be, but all those things actually make me feel like, okay, I have a mission. Yeah, so I can do this. You know, so that's why I I wanted to become the motivational speaker. Because if I can transfer this message to writing, I can only imagine somebody listening to me because reading the book, you know, say, well, he probably used uh Google Translate to do the book, you know. But how about he listened to me? Not just that I can tell you that I can prove that I look where I came from, you know, look how far I come, but also you can hear me, you can talk to me, you can actually touch me.

Genevieve: 30:36

Right.

Jose: 30:36

Because I'm not a celebrity that actually came, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, from Austria, came and become the biggest megastar that actually am is me. You can have somebody who actually can associate, you can simulate. And that's why I wanted to to do those those type of of motivational speaking, to give hopes to the people that actually that nobody actually can tell it, yeah, you know what? You can make it too.

Genevieve: 31:02

Absolutely. Yeah. And I love that too. I mean, that was another reason why I wanted to bring some stories, is because we don't get to hear from just the ordinary, everyday people. A lot of times you hear from the celebrities, and you get the a lot of the young people that start to be inspired or influenced by those that are already famous. But what about the ones that living the everyday life? You know, they want to hear from those too. So absolutely. Oh, absolutely. I love that. Absolutely. Well, I'm gonna start getting a little bit deeper into your hidden chapters. Oh boy. And I'd love to talk about you serving in the army and reaching that rank of sergeant major. Already being from a different culture and background, coming to the United States and then being in the US Army. What's a hidden chapter of that military climb that that people people would never guess from the outside?

Jose: 31:55

Well, the ranking itself is very powerful, and a lot of people think that you know, one is you when we get to the top, we have superpowers or anything like that. Um, and also sometimes we believe that um we can resolve everything like magic. We're humans like anybody else, you know. Um there is sort the superpowers could be, for example, that you know, we can resolve a complex work issue or personal issue, and you think that this person can make magic. Yeah, it's not we've made magic. It's basically we have experience um uh more than the anybody else. Um, however, uh I would say on a personal note that originally ranked some me or something, I didn't expect it. Uh, because I always believe that my peers or my my higher up were smarter than me. And I'm not saying they're not smarter than me. Obviously, everybody's smarter than me. But um it's just that I think we have something in common. It's basically we are very competitive.

Genevieve: 33:04

Yeah.

Jose: 33:04

Um, we always get the mentorship required to get all the way to South Mayor. Once you get to Sam Mayor, basically you're on your own, in my opinion. It's like a reason you become a politician, then basically now you're fighting to become the best politician ever, even though you had to tackle your competition, your peers.

Genevieve: 33:23

Right.

Jose: 33:24

Some of them are not your friends, some of them are basically trying to compete against you to win popularity. Not everybody's like that, but the majority is like that. So to me, it's a very painful um lesson that I have. When I went to Samush Academy, I thought everybody's gonna embrace me because we are equally, we are sergeant's majors, we reached a higher pay grade and enlisted in the army. But not always, it's not always like that. Um, and that's the lesson that I learned. You know, our thoughts are gonna be, you know, are we gonna be impact, like a, you know, a pack of wolves that defend each other, help each other out. No, it's not. It's not. Um, that is something that I actually took it personally. But at the same time, that's something that people don't see um behind the scenes. Not everybody's like that, but to me, it was a very painful lesson. Uh I got I was disappointed, I'm not gonna lie. I was a little upset that why these people believe that they're about me. Eventually this adventure is gonna end. Yeah, you know, a lot of people don't think like that. Uh but one thing that actually helped me out to keep my feet on the ground and not get you know get brainwashed by becoming one of them is that, you know, hey, if I didn't make it, I would be happy because look how far I have become.

Genevieve: 34:48

Right.

Jose: 34:49

But if I made it, it has to be for a reason. And I remember that, okay, so this thing's gonna end. Once I take my uniform off, the rank is stayed, but the person remain. So that's one thing that actually helped me out to navigate that challenge. Um, that's a lot of people don't see that.

Genevieve: 35:07

Right.

Jose: 35:07

Because we're well hidden, you know, but behind the doors, we're not as tight as we think we are.

Genevieve: 35:14

Yeah. So and to kind of reinforce what you were saying about that, I I had put a little bit in my notes where in your book, um, for anybody that wants to find that on page 457, I wrote down that quote because you said, if you want to succeed in connecting with other sergeant majors, you need to have a position or something that they can benefit from. It's not about friendship and camaraderie with most of them. It's only business and trying to get to the next higher position. And I thought it was interesting the way you described it as the big club.

Jose: 35:45

The big club, exactly. I mean the big club, it's just like everywhere in the war, you whether you're in a corporate war, we're in the politics, there's always gonna have somebody to help you out, to pull you. They pick and choose who they want to help.

Genevieve: 35:58

Right.

Jose: 35:59

Um, I was not one of them. I'm no mad about them, uh no better that is basically you gotta remember at one point the CEO position, the Sign Mayo position, the Congress position is gonna end.

Genevieve: 36:13

Yes.

Jose: 36:14

And then what? Right. That's that's the only thing I can consider that you know I'm happy where I am because at this point in my life I'm very successful. I achieve a lot of things. I didn't achieve a lot of things, but you know, I'm happy with the way things turn out. And I don't have no guilty anything that I did. So that's the main part. I'm in peace with myself after the uniform, and that's all. And I'm very happy with my life right now.

Genevieve: 36:41

That's so good to hear. Yeah, and you want to end it that way too, your career. Yeah, so I want to go and ask you real quick about those particular times. It's good to look back on some of those, but you mentioned moments of defeat, feeling demoralized and even sad for many years. So you said you reached out for counseling. What were some of the things that your counselor gave you as tools then that have maybe helped you now that you've transitioned out of the military?

Jose: 37:12

Yeah. Um the main thing that actually it is one of my advisors, is not to hold uh grudges with anybody. Um things happen for the reason, you know, and it's hard to swallow. And even though I'm a hypocritical dad, because I advise my kids, hey, it's okay. It's okay. You know. Um but if if we're talking about the feeling demoralized and sad, there's two parts that I would like to clarify about the question, if I understand it correctly, the question right. Yeah, one is my sad moment, the press moment, is because I expected the people to help me out the same way I helped them out.

Genevieve: 37:59

Yeah.

Jose: 37:59

You know, sometimes it doesn't happen. You know, sometimes you have to determine those people are more they're looking for out, they're looking out for the own future, they're looking out for the best of interest. So you might be in the best interest to help you, but sometimes it's not your time, or sometimes people are so excited to help you, but they don't consider oh man, I make a promise that I should have made. So that really it that really makes me mad because um because I expect the people to, you know, if you promise you're gonna bring me lunch tomorrow and you didn't, so why? I mean, what did I do to you in order to do that? I was counting on you.

Genevieve: 38:38

Yeah.

Jose: 38:39

Whenever I make a promise, I break my back to make sure I don't break it. That's the difference. But the part that you're talking about, you know, like you mentioned about living the military. There is one person, he's not even a psychologist. Uh is uh one of my former uh uh instructors at this Army's Academy. And every time I asked me the same question, I always say his name, Command Sammy Retired Jamie Hacinski. He told me something that actually was the basic of how I'm gonna manage my life in the military. He said, Ray, you need to find something that actually fulfills your emptiness when you leave. Because when you leave the military, you're gonna, whether you like it or not, you're gonna feel empty. No more coffee breaks, no more camaraderie with your soldiers, no more PT together. It's over. If it was because he told me that, I probably put it God in my head right now, probably drinking a lot of alcohol because it's depressing once people, you know, leave. Once you mele the military, there's no more camaraderie. It's true. That's true. You know, um, yeah, you you you meet with people for once in a while, but you know, but a lot of people don't want to get out of the house because once you leave the uniform, you feel useless because you don't have no mission to go, you don't have no meetings to go. So Jamie, well, actually, I owe him a lot because then I get emotional again. If it wasn't because of Jamie, I'd probably be, you know, maybe in I don't know, somewhere. Um very, you know, I had grandkids now, I still enjoy him, but you know, if I don't if I don't take care of that, I cannot take care of my grandkid. So thanks to Jamie, uh, I was able to find the something that actually fulfilled the emptiness on time before reach the my transition to the military. So if Jamie ever read this chapter, I really appreciate him because he saved my life.

Genevieve: 40:46

Shout out to Jamie. Oh boy. Well, I appreciate you saying that because I know that that is a struggle that a lot of soldiers that I hear from a lot of times coming out of the military. That transition is hard. A lot of people have really loved that lifestyle and have gotten used to that lifestyle of being military, and then when you get out, it's a very big transition. So you mentioned one of your biggest regrets was struggling to balance your personal life with your military career. And so then later on, you had learned to prioritize family. So I appreciate that uh you had mentioned you managed to maintain a friendship with your former spouse and were committed to making amends with your children after all of that. So retirement has really brought a shift for you. Can you talk about how that journey has been for you as you've taken those small steps toward making amends?

Jose: 41:41

Well, you know, uh the peace in my two exes is is it was it was way before the military was over. Um I'm never gonna pay my kids the time that I miss with them. That's that's a guilty part that I was gonna live. Um but then and I think now I I transitioned out of the military. Um I I focus more into my kids, even though they're already adults. You know, I once a week I video chat with my grandkids. Um I ask my my son and my daughter every every today's has everything going, has everything going, has everything going? Um and funny, I tell a funny story. Uh that when I when I was about to retire, my kids were excited and I was surprised. They asked me, so dad, what you gonna do about it? And I said, Well, I was looking at some designs and here, you know, how my hair would look, maybe if I painted yellow, red. They look at me like I had three eyes, like, what are you talking about? I said, you know, it's time for me to become rebellious, dad, you know, maybe make my first tattoo in the arms. So, so a year after, actually, it was last year, I think it was during a a moment that we got together. Uh, my son and my daughter said oh dad, so how's the design for your tattoo coming along? We we can pull it out right now and make you help you out. You know, we have tattoo shop right here. Like, wait, wait, wait, come on. I changed my mind. It was a moment what we missed that I was happy that I was actually spending more time with you guys, but no, I write to stay like that. So it was a story about um uh you know, that made me feel good that my kids now understand that you know my time in the military, yes, it was hard. I missed a lot of birthdays, a lot of uh moments with them, but I sacrificed myself to giving a good future, which now they both enjoy. Uh so at the end of the day, they understood my my daughter now is married to an erman, so she now is walking to the path of being a uh espouse, military spouse, and she now understands with a full picture what was like with dad was deployed or when we PCA, so how hot it is. So now it helped they helped me reconnect even more with my kids, which is what I'm really looking for. And I'm I'm very happy the way it turned out, uh, even after the years of of being the military. Uh, you know, connection with my spouses, um, always been like that because I know as a human being will make mistakes, but it does not mean that we're gonna file like a tax and cats and dogs. We put our differences to the size, and you know, the let's let's let's weigh the white flag, please. Yeah, the white flag, and so yeah.

Genevieve: 44:31

So uh just as a side question, uh have your children or your ex-spouses been able to read your book? And if they have, what has been some of their reactions?

Jose: 44:42

Oh, I know I shouldn't say nothing about that. Well, you know what? Uh I'll be honest with you. So, first of all, um I asked permission to both of them. And I said, Look, I want to ask you this. You know, and if you're okay not to mention anything, that's fine. Uh, one of my rules uh when I talk with Brunel about the books is I don't want to mention the names. Uh, one is because I want to protect the privacy. Yes, everybody knows who I was married for, but 99% of people don't know because my my life has to be very private. So I didn't want to include the names, but I want to include the situation that makes me break my marriage. So after I had a conversation with both of them, I said, Yeah, go ahead. So my ex-pouse number two was the first one who bought the book. The first book that I ever saw, he bought it. And she sent me a picture. I said, Look what I got. I said, Oh Lord Jesus have mercy. And I thought she's gonna just tell me after I read, you are no. So she sent me a text message, and she said, You know what? I don't know you. But after I read what you've been through, I'm so sorry that our marriage didn't work out and I didn't understand you. That was a lot. That was just a sentence that she texted me that she said, you know what? But I didn't appreciate that you only dedicate me half a book, half a page. But but the simple fact that she I thought she's gonna be mad at me because of what I said. No, she was she she actually she she feels bad because she thought she knew me. Yeah, and again, you know, it's a lot of things I didn't say, and a lot of things she knew about me, but not to the deep understanding the book. My spouse number one, I don't know if I read the book, but to this point we're still talking, so I'm assuming she read it and she's okay with it. So yeah, but wife number two, she's uh she actually just uh and that was the one that I was afraid, most afraid because that wasn't the most drawn that I have. Uh but no, uh she actually she now she wants another copy because I'm working on the Spanish version. Oh so she was now a copy of this second book, and she has promote a book with uh her classmates on high school because she had a high school reunion not too long ago, and which some of them are friends with mine, so I'm working hard to get that Spanish version up and running that way I can buy them. So that's funny, and the only thing she was mad about is you only gave her a page, exactly, exactly, and she said publicly we have a group, a group chatting on WhatsApp with our high school people that say, Well, I don't appreciate he only gave me half a page.

Genevieve: 47:44

Half a page, not a half a page, okay.

Jose: 47:46

Well, but I appreciate her comments and I appreciate her friendship, you know. Things that work out, but it is what it is.

Genevieve: 47:55

Yeah, but it is nice, I think, to be able to have that conversation even after that once she read it, that there were things that she even realized that maybe that didn't get communicated then, but now gets communicated that I never knew. I didn't know this about you. And that kind of happened with um my reading of Chris's book when he was going through the process and it was slowly coming into the manuscript formed, and Brunel and him were editing it. He had told me all this time, he says, It's just on the computer. You're welcome to read it. And my mentality at the time was, I'm not reading that. I've lived it with you. I mean, honestly, it's like I don't need to read it. I've been through all of this with you, I know all the stories. But it was right around um the final edits with him and Brunella that I said, I gotta get over myself. I'm gonna read this. And so he gave it to me. I downloaded on my phone and I worked through the chapters nightly. So we would go to bed, he would go to sleep, and I would actually sit up with my phone and read it in the dark. And so I was running through chapters, I was going through a couple of different things I've known about uh his history with infantry and then some of the struggles. But it was towards the end that we had differences of opinions on certain things that it took me a moment. And I expressed this later to him. I said, I I was mad originally because of just what my perspective. And we didn't necessarily talk about that. So when I finished the book, we actually had to have a really hard discussion because I was like, I don't like this, I don't like this at all. And um, and and then I remember him saying, 'Cause were you mad because you didn't get more recognition than this? And I said, No, no, that's not it at all. I said, I'm just mad because of the way that this was your perspective and this was my perspective. And so it was we laugh about it now, of course, but it it had to open up the communication because we just didn't talk about that. So yeah, I like that you said that because it's true, you know, when you start putting these things on paper and then somebody reads them, you have no idea what the reaction is. But then sometimes when you finally have that open communication, some good things can come out of it where they go. I never knew. Well, I'm gonna go ahead and start wrapping this up. I just want to ask you a couple questions about the what's next chapters. So you said you had considered actually writing another book to discuss your life outside of the uniform. So tell me a little bit about how retirement life is going for you. And is it meeting some of your goals or expectations that you thought, especially after 30 years of being military? And then what would your next book be? So kind of a loaded question.

Jose: 50:38

That's okay. I can wrap it up. Um, how is my life as a retirement? Good. Um, I can complain.

Genevieve: 50:44

Yeah.

Jose: 50:45

Um, but it took me three years to be where I am right now. I I'm reaching my my third year of retirement. The first year was expectations, you know, dreams. You know, I want to become motivation speaker, you want to become this, you want to become that. Uh, and again, you know, I I was hoping that a lot of my peers uh would help me out to navigate to the challenge to be retiring and still um doing something to mitigate the emptiness that I was gonna feel after leaving uniform, but none of that happened. The second year I had to realize okay, I had to do something because you know I like to talk, I like to give motivational speaking. Um, in my social media page, I put a lot of uh his historical stuff with a touch of a message of optimism and hope. But I also like to fix cars. Uh uh that's another story, a long story. And I was in Germany, and uh in Germany I have an oil leak that eventually turned me into a phenomenal mechanic, uh Jimmy Tasker. Uh he was the manager of the NWR uh auto skills in Pulaski, Germany. And he actually made me fall in love with being a mechanic, which is what I do now. Um so eventually the book was part of my goals, which I did. Um, and eventually, I like I mentioned previously, I'm working on the Spanish version. But now Brunella brought me something on the mind that said, well, the next book should talk about leadership. And I said, I don't think so. You know, there's many books of leadership out there that I don't think they're gonna fit. So I'm gonna be the one rebellious guy who always goes what nobody else does. So I'm planning to do something about the true hitting moments where you know nobody sees a soldier without a uniform once you retire. Um, I was thinking about, you know, okay, so how am I gonna name it? Because out of the blooming, I think I was having dinner with my with my grandkid, and uh um I don't know what happened, and then my daughter said something, and I said, No, he's not crazy, he just me. I passed my DNA to him. Um and I said, Oh, you know what? That's a good title. You're not crazy, it's in your DNA. And what I mean by that is a lot of veterans uh start opening up more now, once in the military, and they're always wondering, you know, um, if this is really me or I'm in sick. No, you're not sick. You're not crazy. It's just in your DNA, it happens to you. You have to understand it in order to learn how to live it. And once you understand it and accept it, you'll be able to manage and feel more compassionate about you, you feel more resilient for you. You know, so that's my focus. Hopefully, it becomes a reality. It won't be as extended at this point, it's very probably a small version. Uh people, people for people be easy to understand and read it. So we'll see what happened. You know, we'll see what happened um after that. So more to follow.

Genevieve: 53:58

I love that because too, we've had more Chris and I actually our season two will air and it will be his take on a lot of things from his military career and going a little deeper into his book and the mental struggles. And we talk about the transition as being the hardest thing we both have had to do, both as the service member and the spouse. Because my own transition, after spending all of those years being his support in the military, I have my own traumas, I have my own experiences. And same with him as he's transition transitioned out, because we're also in our third year post-retirement, that we uh are still trying to figure things out, we're still trying to navigate what that looks like, what that feels like, what do we do, you know? And then um this new journey to share these stories, I believe, was is the next step because there are so many veterans out there that need to hear more and more veterans that I think would benefit from opening up. So yeah, those are definitely needed. So well, Jose, I want to end this with telling you thank you so much. Especially y'all need to know that Jose and I are in two different uh continents and two uh two different time zones. He's in Barcelona and I'm in Huntsville, Alabama. So, Jose, I want to say thank you so much for meeting me and sharing your story. And I'm so grateful to Brunella for recommending my podcast because I thought your story was just incredible and definitely a fit for hidden chapters.

Jose: 55:32

So I appreciate the opportunity. Um, thank you. Um, like I told Brunella, you know, people cross paths uh with me. Uh as you know, that's that's the rule of life, I guess. People cross paths with you for a reason. And I hope that um this is the beginning of a wonderful uh relationship with you as well. Um looking forward to read your husband's book as well, um, and also uh to learn something about his journey as well. So, but I appreciate the opportunity. Um I for those people who probably don't see, but I did my hair, uh Shay, I have a best jacket to put on. So, you know, just you have to just figure it out and and and and imagine that I was there.

Genevieve: 56:17

Yeah.

Jose: 56:18

And you know, I'm not six foot tall like people think of because of my voice. I'm only a 61 inches tall guy. So, but thank you, appreciate you for the opportunity. I really have a good time doing the interview.

Genevieve: 56:29

Me too. Well, thank you, Jose. I can't wait to hear the impact Jose makes with future podcast appearances and beyond. I'm hoping his story continues to reach more readers and listeners. Be sure to check out the links in the show notes where you can purchase Jose's book. And if you'd like to contact Jose, those links to his Facebook page and email are in the show notes. Be sure to follow Hidden Chapters on Substack. That's where we also stay connected between episodes. The most powerful stories are the ones we don't see. May your hidden chapters bring light to someone else's journey. Thanks for listening to Hidden Chapters.