From Hidden Chapters to the Stage: My LIVE Talk on Identity, Story, and Healing

In this special episode of Hidden Chapters, I step on stage for the very first time at the Military Influencer Conference and share my story as a retired military spouse, navigating grief, identity, loss, and the journey of figuring out who I am along the way. I talk about how Hidden Chapters came to be, the healing power of storytelling, and why sharing our hidden stories matters.

During the talk, I invited the audience to share one word that describes their own hidden chapter, which later became a word cloud you can check out on my social media pages. This live, real, and honest talk reached both military and civilian listeners, and it reminded me why telling our stories and connecting with others is so important.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your story matters, this episode is a little nudge that it absolutely does and sometimes, sharing it on a stage (or even a podcast) can be more powerful than we imagine.

Takeaways from my talk: 

• Hidden chapters are the parts of our lives that shape us the most.
• The podcast was born from a desire to share personal stories.
• Navigating life changes can lead to feelings of loss and identity.
• Sharing stories can be a therapeutic process for both the storyteller and the audience.
• Engaging with the audience helps to create a sense of community.
• The impact of personal stories can resonate with many, fostering connection.
• The journey of podcasting began as a way to find one's voice.
• Hidden chapters often reveal struggles that are not visible on the surface.
• Stories of resilience and strength can inspire others to share their own. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 2:03

All right, well, I want to say thank you all for being here today. This is my first time being here at MIC, and this is my first time being here on the stage. So I am very honored to be with you all today. Well, my name is Genevieve Kruger, and I am a military brat, grew up military brat, and for many years growing up, said I would never marry military, right? How many of us have done that? And married my husband, and God had other plans. So we've been together for 21 years, married for 19, and he retired three years ago, so now we are on this new post journey, figuring out what we both want to do three years out. I began my career as a high school English teacher, and then was able to stay home and raise our two daughters while my husband was going through numerous deployments, PCSs, and trainings. During that season, I found purpose in serving my community in organizations like the USO, the spouses clubs, and the FRGs. One of my more prouder moments was opening up the ninth shop of Operation Deployer Dress in Colt Fort Drum, New York. During the middle of COVID, 2020. But I'll be honest with you, standing or sitting right here in front of you all seems a little more daunting as having spoken in front of ninth graders in a classroom. But what brings me courage here today is knowing that we are all here for a bigger purpose. We are here to share ideas, to grow together, and to connect. So I'm excited about that. So first I want to kind of start with something real. How many of you had said had somebody say to you recently, oh, but you look like you got it all together? Right? That sentence didn't tell my whole story. I can guarantee you it didn't tell yours either. It sparked something in me though, because the truth is what they're seeing is the cover. They're not seeing the whole book. And we all carry chapters that not very many people will see. And those are the parts that shape us the most, isn't it? So that's where hidden chapters came in. It was that tension between the gap between how people saw me and what I was actually carrying. So people would say, Oh, you seem like you've got it all together. But inside, I was struggling. I was tired. Tired of being the strong one, tired of showing up for everyone else, and still not feeling like I was seen. And hustling to meet expectations, but not being enough. And the hardest part was I didn't even know what I truly wanted. So today, I would like to just give you a little piece of my heart and where hidden chapters even got started. It's three years mixed with heartbreak, feeling lost, and finding my voice through this podcast. And I hope it'll help you see that you your own stories, uh, see help you through your own stories and know that you are not alone. So let's get into it. Alright, so let's go back to November 2021 in Cold Fort Drum, New York. I was in the thick of it. I was gathering all of my work experience from 13 years ago, all of my volunteer hours that I had collected from working in all of the volunteer organizations, trying to make it all fit into a one-page resume. I was excited but nervous of what the future will hold as a retired military spouse with the opportunity to finally work. But January 2022 hit. And I had to put myself on the back burner yet again. My husband was retiring, and for the first time we had to figure out logistics of where we were gonna live, what state was gonna be military-friendly for military family, what school were my kids gonna go to? Because for the first time in 22 and a half years, we finally got to choose. Then in March, my heart broke. My uncle caught COVID and passed away. And I traveled from New York to California to bury and grief in briefly. Then in April, we closed on a house, sight unseen, in Huntsville, Alabama. By the end of June, my girls were finishing their last days of school while the movers were packing up our entire life. And then very next day, I was loading up my girls, my sweet boy Cat Rascal, and my coffee maker. We left Chris behind in Fort Drum and we we traveled from Fort Drum, New York to Huntsville, Alabama, making one pit stop in Maryland. Four weeks of a summer. My girls started a new school in August. I was in a new town, new house. One friend that I knew, and asking myself, okay, I'm a retired new spouse, so I have the opportunity to work, but who's gonna hire me? Who do I network with? Who am I now? How many of us have asked those questions? So we were settled in our permanent home in Sweetenholm, Alabama, and I was grieving a big loss. The military community that I had known for years, I had lost. I was on the other side of that military life. My resume was a hodgepodge of teaching positions that I was not going to actually come back to. And my numerous volunteer experience was a hodgepodge as well, a real clear theme. I hadn't worked in 13 years, and society unfortunately looked at me as just a military spouse, just a stay-at-home mom, just a volunteer. When Chris finally joined us in August, and the adjustment of being a husband and wife kicked in, we were together all day, every day. Just brought new challenges. We were unpacking this overly stuffed rucksack of things that we hadn't talked about and we had stuffed for over several years, things we hadn't worked through or dealt with. And then we hadn't even talked about the expectation of what retirement would look like. Alcohol addiction became more prevalent in Chris, and unfortunately, I had grown bitter and resentful. I was struggling to find a new normal, putting myself out there in resumes trying to reach for jobs that would even align with my experience. And all the while my whole life was in shambles. I even reached out to a counselor to see if I could help navigate a lot of these issues that I was having. And I was put on a four-month wait list because they said they did not have resources for a retired military spouse. And then in October, like another gut punch, my sweet baby boy rascal, who had been with me through every PCS move, every deployment, and every stage of my motherhood, quickly got sick and passed away. The loss of my uncle, the loss of my identity, and what I knew as normal, and the loss of my fur baby and the unsettled marriage set me on a downward spiral. I was unraveling quickly, questioning my worth, drowning in grief, and wondering if anybody even saw me. By January 2024, I was able to find part-time work, and then by January 2020 or 2023, I was able to find part-time work, and then by 2024, I found full-time work. But after working for a full year and traveling a lot, I was overworked, undervalued, and stretched beyond what I could even sustain. It took its toll on me. A few days after I decided to resign from that job, my 15-year-old daughter had a seizure in class in middle school. I took that as a sign that I needed to step back and find out what truly mattered. But inside again, I was going, what do I truly want? What am I, who am I really? My confidence was shaken and my worth felt questionable. So then in February of this year, I saw an ad on LinkedIn for a mom's group, for a counseling mom's group, and I thought this would bring me some help and some camaraderie. I quickly realized at the very first session I was the oldest mom there. They sweetly called me the OG mom. The other sweet moms, they met well, but they said they said to me, You look like you have it all together. I want to be like you and I'm your age. Like I said, they met well, but they had no idea what I was going through. All smiles throughout the chaos that was going on in my life. So then, in a moment of morning devotionals and soul searching, asking God, okay, what do you have for me? He brought me back to an idea that I had had actually two years ago. Start a podcast. And I gotta tell you all, at one time in my life I thought I wanted to be a broadcast journalist because I studied abroad in college and had done this in Europe, and I thought I would just broadcast the fluff news. I wanted to be like Sand Brown from TLC. Hi, I'm Genevieve. I'm eating Belgian waffles in Belgium. So you see, podcasting was something that I was fascinated with, but I had no idea where to start. So, with a little bit of planning, and of course the help of ChatGPT, I figured out who my audience was gonna be, and then I figured, well, what am I gonna talk about? But then I quickly realized in all of this experience, hidden chapters, hidden life chapters are rarely seen on the surface. Isn't that true? So Hidden Chapters was born in March of this year, and it launched officially on my birthday, May 10th, 2025. And I gotta tell you, the very first story I knew I needed to start with was a story about me and my mom. And this was the story that had not been shared among many people except for close friends and family. And I remember sharing it one time at a church group event, and I remember the sweet lady coming up to me afterward, and she said, if you ever get the chance and opportunity to share your story again in front of a room of people, please invite me. She doesn't need a full room to hear my story on a podcast. So on May 10th, Mother's Day weekend, my 45th birthday, marked the official launch of the Hidden Chapters podcast with the most personal and significant story, my mom and I. My mom's story is one of resilience, strength, and overcoming. She was a rape victim in college and became pregnant. Even in the face of that horrific act, she chose to have me. Fort years later, I wouldn't be here, nor be able to celebrate with my two daughters and be able to sit here and share my story with you all of you. But her story is one that is a story you wouldn't know from face value. And it is an amazing story about how she had rebuilt. So if you're ever interested, season one, episode two is my mom's testimony. Episode one was my intro. But it seemed only fitting to have this triple celebration. My mother's and my story, my celebration of Mother's Day, and then this podcast. So you see, I do genuinely have an awe and interest in people's stories. I had a handful of friends that had stories that they were ready and willing to share. And they knew that if they could just get a chance to share their story with other people, they knew it would have an impact. So this podcast really was created with all of us in mind. Not just the military spouses, but the men and the women, civilians alike. Because season one guests shared things that we all go through: things of grief, loss, depression.

SPEAKER_00: 14:05

What does a life after service look like?

SPEAKER_02: 14:10

BTSD? It's alright. So it was all through this process that I was building something I wanted and building something I needed. And I had a really great friend say to me once, Jen Pascal, if you know her. Military spouses are great at building what they need. Is that not true? So ultimately, it's what we all need. But you know, I wasn't the only one learning this lesson in the family. It was around this time that my husband Chris was finishing his publishing book of Walking Away from the Ledge. Now, proud wife plug. If you all get to meet the author, he is sporting this magnificent man-made. Chris bravely shared his story on paper, his struggles as a service member, his battle with alcohol addiction, and the mental struggles that he went through in his time in service. After retiring, he had worked on his bachelor's degree, and in that same token, he had gone to a veteran counselor who had recommended to him to write his journey down on paper. At first, his goal was to really just keep these stories for our daughters when they were old enough to an appropriate age to read his daddy's experiences. But as he started writing, it quickly became something more. Writing almost became therapeutic. It helped him process the weight of his service, the sacrifice, and the anger that he was still holding. So, with a little encouragement from me and a gentle nudge not to let it sit as a compute a document on the computer, we had a friend recommend a publisher and an editor. And after a three-year process, I'm proud to say that Chris has published his book in August. But watching his experience reminded me of something powerful. Our stories heal. When Chris's fellow Ranger buddies came to him after reading his book, it was amazing to hear the reviews that would come out. Strikingly similar reviews that said, man, I had no idea. But me too. So his honesty unlocked something in them that showed just how deeply that our stories are connected. Whether written, spoken, shared over coffee, our hidden chapters actually matter. So Chris's journey and writing his book actually inspired me to go ahead and share mine, and I'm hoping that I can, through my podcast, inspire others to share theirs as well. So, in that, because this is a podcast, I am interested to hear about yours. So I would like to take this for just a moment and pose a question to all of you. I would like to know what your hidden chapter is, a moment in your post-military life or military life or active duty life right now. If you could, in one word, describe a part of your life that most people don't see, what would that one word be? I'll give you all a minute just to think about that. If you wouldn't mind, I've got my lovely assistant over there passing out some pens and some sticky notes. I'd really like to know if you're brave enough. And once you've written that one word down, if you're bold enough, I'd love to hear just one or two. So I'll give you a minute. Okay, so if you are bold enough, I would just love to hear you share that one word, if you wouldn't mind. Yes. Depression. Depression. It's a good one. Anybody else?

SPEAKER_00: 18:20

I'm a caregiver. Caregiver?

SPEAKER_02: 18:23

Caregiver. Very good. Thank you for sharing that. Anybody else?

unknown: 18:29

Regret.

SPEAKER_02: 18:30

Regret. That's a good one. We all feel better. Well, I appreciate you all taking the time to interact with me. These sticky notes, hold on to them. I do have a plan for them. We're gonna do something with them in just a moment. So while you are writing down, writing down your one word, I actually took this very question and I posed the question to my audience of hidden chapters. And I asked them for the same, what was their one word? And these were the words that were given to me. I'll let you take a minute to look at those. So what I would love to do is after this session, all of your sticky notes, your one word, and also I put the poll on the WOVA app. So if you all would like to just share it there, you're more than welcome. I would love to take everyone who's in session here with me today, and this session are the MIC attendees, and I would like to make another word cloud of what everybody's hidden chapters is. Because what this shows is that our hidden chapters matter. Alright, so in showcasing the impact that this podcast has had so far, I want to tell you all that there have been 1200 downloads since the launch in March with the trailer. And it's amazing to look at the stats of listeners. We've got people listening from countries like Canada, Trinidad, and Tobago, Germany, Singapore, and Denmark. And this is reaching not only my friends and family. So there's one particular episode that has reached over 120 downloads that seemed to have resonated with my audience the most. And this is a story in episode 9 with a fellow military spouse named Liz Davis. And her and I met through LinkedIn and a mutual friend, and she shared her journey after retirement and eventually divorce after 20 years. Her story resonated with me so much because it was very similar to my own of being unseen, disconnected, and trying to figure out who she was after her time in service. So I would love to just give you a little clip of what Hidden Chapter sounds like by listening to just an audio clip of Liz.

SPEAKER_00: 20:52

That question of, is this what my life is? I think that's probably a starting point of like, wait a minute. You're doing all the things, and as life progresses, and as your kids get older, and your husband advances in his career, you suddenly think, wait a minute, I have just spent so much time doing for others, but is this what I wanted? Because of course you want to take care of and love and nurture your family. But what about you? So I think it starts with more of a is this what I wanted my life to look like? What is missing? What could I do about it? Yeah, I think that's where that's where like the that little nagging comes in.

SPEAKER_02: 21:45

And that's hidden chapters. Real stories, real struggles, real connections. So Liz's story, like mine, is about how the chapters that we share we don't share are hidden. And that's what I hope that you all find in future episodes that you listen to with hidden chapters. Well, I'm proud to say that I've kicked off season two, uh, and I've been honored that Chris's publisher and uh and editor recommended the podcast to a few of their newly published authors. So in season two, I'm excited to bring you some new authors. My husband, Chris, of course, but some other authors like beautiful Lindsay Swoboda back there, Laura Lynn Donahue, and Jose Raimundo. And his stuff, his story is very incredible from El Salvador to the U.S. Army. So I hope you all will listen to those and um find some find some connection with them. Alright, so to end this time with you all, and first of all, thank you all for being here and listening to me through all of my nervousness. I have one ask. I would love to ask that you all join me in the hidden chapters community. You can scan the QR code to follow me on Substack, and I hope that that's where we can continue the conversations after each episode because you know that behind the mic, there's so much more we need to say. And then the other one is a QR code to season one and season two. And I would like to end with saying this military life gives us hidden chapters. Grief, doubt, strength, resilience. Hidden chapters is here, is here to share those stories. The most powerful stories are the ones that you don't see, so may your hidden chapter bring light to someone else's journey. Thank you very much.