Unmasking My Hidden Chapter: When ‘I’m Fine’ Wasn’t the Truth

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Episode Summary

In Unmasking My Hidden Chapter: When “I’m Fine” Wasn’t the Truth, Genevieve shares a season she doesn’t talk about often, the years she spent teaching even though her heart wasn’t in it. After failing her Praxis exams and questioning her purpose, she found herself putting on a smile and saying “I’m fine” when she really wasn’t.

In this episode, Genevieve talks about what it felt like to keep that mask on for so long and what finally helped her take it off. She opens up about the pressure to prove herself, the lie that she wasn’t enough, and the truth she found in Scripture that reminded her who she really was.

This episode isn’t about Halloween costumes , it’s about the real-life masks we wear to look okay when we’re not. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt or felt like you had to keep it all together, this one will remind you that God already calls you enough, even when you don’t feel like it.

✨ Episode Takeaways

• We all wear masks sometimes to protect ourselves, to fit in, or to avoid being misunderstood.
• Self-doubt has a sneaky voice, but it’s not the truth.
• Scripture reminds us who we really are when the world tells us otherwise.
• When we start unmasking, we start growing one layer at a time.
• Becoming your true self isn’t instant… it’s a journey, and it’s worth every step.

Resources talked about in the episode: 

Insights Discovery Assessment: https://www.insights.com/us/

Mel Robbins Podcast Episode 329 with Dr.Todd Rose https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-one-research-study-will-change-how-you-think-about/id1646101002?i=1000728615600

Scriptures mentioned: 

• Romans 12:2 
• Ephesians 6:11
• 2 Corinthians 10:5
• Psalm 139:14
• Psalm 119:9-16

Transcript

Genevieve : 0:40

Ever feel like you're smiling through life saying, I'm fine, while quietly struggling inside. In this episode of Hidden Chapters, I share my journey of taking off the masks we wear and embracing our true selves, even the parts we've kept hidden. Join me for a gentle reflection on authenticity, grace, and God's truth. Hey there, welcome back to Hidden Chapters, the podcast where we uncover the untold stories that shape who we are. I'm your host, Genevieve, and today it's just us for a solo episode dropping on Halloween. Happy Halloween! Whether you're carving pumpkins, passing out candy, or enjoying a pumpkin spice latte, I'm really glad that you're here for this reflective moment with me. Okay, so being honest with you, I've been fighting off a cold all week, so my voice might sound a little different today, but that's also kind of fitting, because today's episode is all about being real, unpolished, and honest, and showing up even when things aren't quite perfect. Halloween is all about masks and costumes, slipping into a new persona for a night of fun. But what if we flipped that script for a moment? Instead of hiding behind a mask, what if we used this season to take it off and show who we really are? That's what this episode is all about, unmasking authenticity. It's a short, relatable reflection on shedding the faces we wear and embracing our true selves, tying right into the heart of hidden chapters, which are those stories we don't always share, but hold so much power when we do. On Halloween, kids dress up as their favorite characters or superheroes, but as adults, our masks are sneakier. We wear them to seem put together at work, on social media, or even with friends. Today I'm sharing another one of my life's hidden chapters, a time I wore a mask to hide my struggles, and will explore what it means to let go and be authentic. Let me share a hidden chapter that started in college, one that seeded a years-long battle with feeling not enough. I applied and after a round of interviews received a full scholarship as a North Carolina teaching fellow. Something people would look at and say, wow, that's amazing. Except it was for a degree I didn't want. The state invested in me to become a teacher, and upon graduation I had to pay it back by teaching in a public school for four years. The truth is, I never really wanted to be a teacher. But as the oldest child in my family, with no money set aside for college, I was pushed toward the scholarship opportunity for teaching. Both of my parents were teachers at the time and encouraged it because it meant free tuition. So I took it, trying to stay as close as possible to my real interest, journalism. I ended up majoring in secondary English education because it felt like the practical choice, even though my heart wasn't really in it. I started with a journalism minor, but eventually had to drop it because balancing both was too much. I remember being miserable those first two years. My freshman roommates and I didn't get along. And on top of that, my grandma had cancer and passed away in March of my freshman year. I was grieving that loss while navigating everything else. It added to my misery. The only thing I really fought for was the college I wanted to attend. Any public college in North Carolina would have been fully covered by the scholarship, but I wanted to go to Elon University, which was then Elon College. It was a private college, so the scholarship didn't cover the full cost. I had to take out a loan to cover the rest. Elon was such a beautiful school, but I also chose it because with the Teaching Fellows program, I had the chance and opportunity to study abroad and teach in London, second semester of my sophomore year. It felt like a chance to see something bigger and experience something outside of my comfort zone. Even with these opportunities, I felt stuck doing what everyone expected instead of what felt right in my heart. As I reached my junior year, I was diving into specific courses required for my major and had to start taking the praxis exams needed to certify me as a secondary English educator. One of my English professors constantly criticized my writing with her usual red pen, returning every essay or assignment with a barely passing grade. Toward the middle of that semester, she asked me to meet her in her office after class. I sat across from her, she told me she was concerned about my writing. She then said, You should really rethink your major. Your writing is not good enough, and I don't think you will do well as an English teacher in a classroom. Well, those words stuck with me. That sentence planted a seed of you're not good enough. Then came the praxis exams, required for any education major to pay for on their own and to pass to be certified as a teacher. I studied my heart out. The state required that I pass both praxis one and two as part of this certification process. I failed praxis one several times, leading up to graduation and student teaching, all while paying over a hundred dollars for every test. You know, the dean of education didn't even want me to graduate because I hadn't passed praxis one. After finally passing it, I had to take praxis two. I failed it once, twice, three times, eventually eight times over the course of two years. Yes, I said eight. Seriously. Each failure was only by one or two points shy of passing, with each retake costing me over $100. I felt trapped, bounded to teach four years in a North Carolina public school to repay the scholarship. The education system seemed to echo you're not good enough to teach. At twenty two, I landed my first job teaching 11th and 12th grade English. I cut my hair short to look older, but without my teacher badge, I blended right into the hallways like just another high schooler. My pay as a first year teacher in North Carolina was minimal, and I was barely scraping by. I tried living on my own in a little apartment, but it stretched my finances every month. Oh, and my car? It was an old Chevy Corsica with a fan belt that squealed almost every time I started it. My high school students drove better cars than I did. I was miserable and depressed. I smiled through my days as a brand new high school English teacher, surviving lesson plans and grading papers, all while hiding the fact that it wasn't what I wanted at all. I smiled through it, told everyone I was fine, and kept going. Because that's what you do, right? You keep showing up, even when you're quietly breaking inside. The North Carolina education system saw my praxis failures and it deepened my lack of confidence. You're not good enough to be a teacher. After every failed test, I had to re-register for the next one and continue applying for extensions on my certification deadline. That mask of pretending everything was fine became my survival tool. But those feelings of failure and feeling not enough didn't stop after I finally fulfilled my scholarship. Do you know I never actually passed praxis too? My waiver was extended just long enough for me to finish my teaching obligation four years later. Those feelings of you're not enough trickled into my personal relationships and friendships later in my life. You're not a good enough friend. In my marriage, I felt like you're not a good enough wife. And as a mom, I questioned if I was a good enough mom. Even as the oldest sibling and daughter, that nagging voice whispered that I was still not doing enough. It started a chain reaction where one area of doubt poisoned the others, making me hide behind smiles and lie to everyone and myself, saying I'm fine. If you've ever let one failure snowball into feeling not enough in all your roles, you know how heavy that mask gets. So why do we wear these masks? And how do we start peeling back a layer? I've been reflecting on this a lot lately, especially as I'm in a season of craving authenticity as a mom, a podcaster, and a person navigating life's chaos. Some resources have helped me peel back a few layers, and I want to share them with you. One that really stood out recently was an episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast with Dr. Todd Rose called This One Research Study Will Change How You Think About Your Entire Life. It dropped on September 29th, 2025, and it's a must listen. Dr. Rose, a Harvard researcher and co-founder of Populous, shared a study showing what people truly want. Spoiler, it's not status or fitting in, it's belonging. Being accepted for who we really are, flaws and all. Mel and Todd explored the difference between fitting in, wearing a mask to blend, and belonging, where you're loved for your true self. If you're feeling trapped by a facade, find that episode on your podcast app. It's actually eye-opening and has really compelling data. This connects to something I learned while working for a company that used the Insights Discovery Behavior Assessment. I became a licensed facilitator with Insights Discovery, which is rooted in the psychologist Carl Jung's work. Jung described the persona as the social mask we wear to navigate the world. The insights discovery assessment helps you see your conscious behaviors, the parts of yourself you choose to show, and your less conscious behaviors, the parts you naturally suppress or hide. Interesting, my profile revealed two sides of me. Consciously, I showed up as the inspiring helper, projecting optimism and support to motivate others, like when I smiled through my teaching struggles to keep everyone at ease. The less conscious, I was the supporting helper, naturally inclined to quietly nurture and prioritize others' needs over my own, burying my pain to avoid conflict. During those teaching years, and even later years, I leaned hard into the inspiring helper mask, hiding the quieter, truer part of me that was struggling with self-worth. Over the years I've realized, and I'm still realizing, that the voice whispering you're not good enough is actually a lie from the enemy. I still struggle with those thoughts, I'm not enough, and I can't measure up. And honestly, I'm not always anchored in God's truth the way I need to be. But as I'm working through this, I know there are a few scriptures that serve as gentle reminders, little faith checks when those lies start creeping in. Romans twelve two, don't conform to the patterns of this world, but let God transform your mind. Ephesians six eleven, put on the full armor of God so you can stand strong against the devil's schemes. Second Corinthians ten five. Demolish those arguments and pretensions that try to tell you you're not enough. Psalms one hundred thirty nine, fourteen, a gentle reminder you are fearfully and wonderfully made. And then Psalms one nineteen, nine through sixteen. It reminds me that real authenticity comes from seeking God and holding his word close. It's a daily reset, a way to choose his truth over the lies that try to take hold. Now I don't have it all figured out, far from it, but I'm learning right alongside you. So maybe this is a gentle nudge when those not enough thoughts show up, lean into God's word. If you're wearing a mask today, pretending everything's fine when it's not, I want to encourage you. You're not alone, and you are enough just as you are. Take a moment to reflect what would it look like to take off your mask today? To be real with yourself and with God, to let go of the lie that you're not enough, and embrace the truth that you are his beloved. Remember, authenticity begins with you, and it starts with taking off the mask. So thanks for joining me for this reflection. If this episode sparks something, subscribe and share hidden chapters with a friend who needs to hear they're also not alone. Let's keep unmasking those hidden stories together. And until next time, embrace your true self, mask optional. You are enough, exactly as you are.